


MIRAGES OF LOVE

by Lula6791



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith
Genre: F/M, Heart, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Let Go, Love, Pain, Suffering, True Love, breaking heart, discovering, mirages, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lula6791/pseuds/Lula6791
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Too much pain. Too much to protect. Too much to forgive. Too much to forget. Tomorrow will be another day. Yes, another day to keep alive the hope of seeing Damon again. A/U. OOC .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer** : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
>  **A/N/Warning** : This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are a OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.
> 
>  **A/N:** I know this is short. I've being so MIA that I honestly thought I wouldn't write anymore. I'm sorry for that. I promise I have more to post. :) Please give me some feedback

 

 

* * *

 

**Mirages of Love**

_"Love is an illusion. It's nothing but a mirage. It doesn't matter how he looks on the outside, or who he is on the inside._

_Right now, you're convinced that you love your darling, but... try thinking about it logically." **― Tomoko Hayakawa, The Wallflower, Vol. 19**_

_" Some say that true love is a mirage; seek it anyway, for all else is surely desert. **" - Robert Brault**_

* * *

"You killed him!"

He stood there watching me like I was some sort of weird experiment. I couldn't stand his stare. He saved me but he chattered my heart in the process. How could he do that?

"Bonnie, please."

Elena's sweet voice pleading came to my attention. I didn't know for what. I couldn't stand it. I wasn't thinking clearly too much pain... too much.

"NO!" I yelled at her.

I watched my best friend trying to intercede for him. Somewhere hidden in my brain I do understand what happened. But I couldn't and wouldn't allow to surface. The pain was too present.

I looked down again to the limp form of my love. I honestly learn to love him even though he was a werewolf. I did love him. I know I did. I believe I did. That's why my heart was crying. I couldn't stop it and yet my eyes were dry.

"Why did he come?"

Now I was embracing him back and forth, back and forth. Again and again...

"Why?"

I felt another person's touch. I didn't know who was it and I didn't care. I knew they all came to save me. I was the reason for this tragedy. I was the one who got caught in the first place. I was the one who got sold again to Damon's crazy vampire princess.

"There's no time."

His exasperated voice reached my ears within seconds. For the first time since I saw Zander's limp body I really glanced towards him. My eyes connected with his. My mind went blank. Elena urged me to see her.

"Bonnie please we have to go."

I reluctantly let Zander go. I let Elena take my hand and pull me up. I saw Stefan walk towards me and pick me up like I was a rag doll. I wasn't' functional. The only thing I could think about is that Zander deserved better.

I rest my head in Stefan's shoulder and absent-mindlessly repeated the only spell I could think of. I didn't know why I could only remember this spell. It wasn't for defense or to attack in some ways it was useless. But I did it anyway.

"Wait!" Damon's authoritative voice made us turn around.

Everybody stopped and watched the transformation. Somehow I connected with this wretched dimension and made Zander's body to transform into a willow tree. The only living thing there standing proudly was once my werewolf fiancé.

I heard Zander's faint voice through the rare breeze playing with the tree.

" _I love you!"_

The faint whisper was the key that unlocked my tears. Finally I was crying. Stefan hugged me a bit more. Mentally I heard his sorrowful voice.

" _I'm sorry."_

" _I'm sorry too. Stefan?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Please make me sleep."_

He didn't say anything. He lifted up my chin. I wasn't sure how could he do it since I was still in his arms.

I looked at his eyes. I knew what was coming.

" _Bonnie, dear please rest. I'll wake you up."_

" _Thank you, Stefan."_

After that the blissful darkness came.


	2. Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are a OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

 

* * *

 

**Mirages of Love**

_"We pardon to the extent that we love." - **Francois de La Rochefoucauld**_

___"Love truth, but pardon error._ "  **― Voltaire**

* * *

He did it. He was pissed and a faint trace of hurt was imbedded deep in his eyes. I knew him and he couldn't hide it from me.

"You did the right thing. He was going to kill her. He wasn't Zander anymore."

"Elena. Stop it! You're comforting me."

Disgust was etched on his beautiful as sin features.

"It's not true. I'm stating the facts."

"No, you do not understand. I don't care if the puppy was alive or not. I don't like werewolves and one of those creatures alive is one too many."

"Damon!"

"What? What do you want from me? I'm still a monster. I'm a vampire and vampires kill."

"I'm not stupid. Bonnie is special for you. I'm not sure how much but I know she is. For goodness sake you died for her. I knew you would save her in a heartbeat again. I know you would do it again. The Zander we knew wasn't there anymore. He was compelled to act like an animal to succumb to his instincts and I'm pretty sure that his orders were to kill you."

"And you my eager Elena stood in front of me protecting me."

"Yes. I did. But was Bonnie's spell what protected us."

He scoffed a little.

"You know it's the truth, Damon."

He walked to me and hug me. I embraced him. I wish I could talk to him mentally. It was easier that way to let him know I wasn't lying.

"Princess..."

Something was about to happen between us, but Lady Ulma interrupted us.

"Master."

He reluctantly let me go. He turned around and with a nod he gave his permission to Lady Ulma.

"Master Stefan wants all of you to go to Bonnie's room. She's awake."

I took his hand and together we went to where we'd been requested to go.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Stefan stood from the bed. He watched over my induce sleep sitting beside me. He looked intently and carefully Elena and Damon as they enter the room. I followed his gaze. My eyes landed on the object of what he was watching; Elena's and Damon's intertwined hands. I made a huge effort to hold my instinct to roll my eyes. When this such triangle will end? Those three are continuously hurting each other. An unusual smirk appeared on my face. The craziness of my situation probably was the cause of it. I lost Zander and I almost die and still I wonder when this three will stop hurting each other.

"Bonnie, are you all right?"

I must have seem like a crazy person. Just hours ago I was crying and now I was some what smiling. I felt Damon looking at me. If they knew why I let escape the smirk. It wasn't because of envy or the late effect of the pain inflicted in my heart. I have to get real. Damon saved me at the cost of the life of the person I learned to love. The person who gradually manage to erase the infatuation that I held for a certain dark vampire.

The irony of all this is unique. When I finally decided to let all my walls fall and let my heart soak in Zander's love. When I finally decided to love him in the same way he seems to love me the hunters appeared and snatched me to the Dark Dimension. The one person I finally and barely banish from my heart came up like a dark knight and saved me. I believe I'd banish him from my heart. I wanted to believe it up to the point it came true. I was so wrong, That was one of my illusions. A mirage that keeps coming at me.

I let out a low and long sigh. I counted up to ten and then muster the little strength I got left. Unconsciously I kept touching the old necklace that Damon once gave it to me as some sort of birthday present. I'm not sure when this thing became a reassurance feature for me. Zander use to scold me a little he said it was a nervous habit, nothing more.

"I know all of you want to know what happened. I don't have … No I don't want to tell it. I'm sorry it's too painful. But I'm afraid I could have seem ungrateful to all of you... I'm sorry... I … I"

I couldn't tell everybody. Even if I wanted too I couldn't. The hated voice in my mind wouldn't let me.

"Bonnie you don't have to exert yourself." Elena's reassuring hand touched mine.

"I know but in a way I want to. It just..."

I shook my head and breathe a little to calm my nerves. Without noticing it I had freed my hand from Elena's and I was touching the necklace again. I purposely glanced towards Damon.

"Thank you."

He stared at me and nodded. I kept looking at him. I knew I have to tell him. This desire to tell him what Princess Jessalyn did to me was not normal. I was trying to ignore it since I saw him again. I was about to say something to cut the tense silence that has descended upon us when a service girl announced dinner. Everybody moved towards the door.

"Bonnie, don't move I'll tell Lady Ulma to send your dinner."

I nodded in approval to Stefan's words. I watched how Stefan got out, next was Elena and the last one was Damon. I couldn't wait anymore. I called him.

"Damon!"

He turned around and looked at me. He was waiting for me to say anything. I felt his mind trying to probe mine. I let him in. He chose to talk to my mind instead using his captivating voice. I lowered my eyes because I didn't want to lose myself in Damon's eyes. I heard him.

" _Redbird?"_

" _I need to tell you what happened. It seems that's an order from Jessalyn."_

" _An order?"_

" _Yes, you know that time here is different from our dimension. A lot happened and the first thing that they did was get rid of any trace of vervain on and in me."_

" _She compelled you to only talk to me."_

" _I think so...Yes."_

" _Look at me."_

I didn't want to do it. My heart and soul were to fragile. I still have a lot of pain and I knew it. Or I should say I hoped when I get through this compulsion thing I would be able to mourn properly.

"I said look at me, Red Bird."

His real voice startle me a little. My response wasn't quick enough. The bed shifted a little under his weight. His cool hand grabbed my shin and lifted it up. Now I was able to see him clearly. His probing eyes studying me.

"There is a way to do it."

I didn't move. I didn't want to give him the message that his touch was disturbing to me. He had save me countless times and he deserve a lot more from me.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to communicate?"

"Yes, I do. But you have never drank my blood."

"Did the wretched Princess mixed your blood with..."

"Black Magic Wine." I finished his sentence.

"Then Little Bird I may have tasted your blood before."

"Oh!"

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready I want to get rid of her awful voice from my head."

He looked a bit amused by my words.

"Indeed I would like to get rid of it too."


	3. Openning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are a OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

 

* * *

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 3**

_"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." **~ Maya Angelou**_

_"The price of a memory, is the memory of the sorrow it brings." **― Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four**_

* * *

Slowly in a predatory way that was so natural to him he approached me. His cold hand left my face and in a second he placed me on his lap. My heart raced instantly. He started to caress my neck with his lips.

"Da.. Damon."

"Yes, Red Bird."

"Please I don't..."

"Shh! Do you trust me kitten?"

"Yes, I do."

He then kissed my pulse. My body trembled and he brought me towards him. Now our bodies were meshed together. I let him take control and do his thing. He gave me a peck on my lips. Soft, gentle, surprisingly caring. My instinct to run away disappeared on that instant. I was open to him like a pliable thing that any artist could change to something exquisite. I let go of all the barriers of my mind.

His fangs sank into my skin. The piercing pain was gone in an instant. The pain subsided immediately and the sensation of my life flowing away from me was replaced by the connections of our minds. Jessalyn's voice disappeared and for the first time my pain of losing Zander went away.

The history of my memories meshed with my feelings started to take form. For Damon was like watching a movie with astounding effects were you could feel everything. Among all he would feel my hope, joy, love, happiness, fright, desperation, faith, confusion, surprise, sadness, depression, loneliness, jealousy, faithfulness, trust and pain. Yes, pain because my time as Jessalyn's slave was a nightmare that Damon was about to witness.

Jessalyn ordered me to tell him, but I will tell him everything even what I had try so hard to kept bury within my heart.

I hoped I could tell him everything before my last heartbeat. I just let go...

~~**x.x.x.x.x.x.x** ~~

I obliged to the maiden request. I didn't know why this little human can render me defenseless. I hadn't dwell about it since the first time I'd met her. More important things needed my attention. My goals were set on Elena not the Little Bird. These two human girls have a different and unique way to make me care about them. So different and yet important. One I love her and my heart was hers and the other one... I don't know yet. I just know I had to protect her.

Maybe it's because she gave forgiveness so easily. Such rare thing needs protection.

In a way I dreaded what the Little Kitten will show me. Not because of fear but because it was too late to retaliate. They hurt her like the kitsune did and like the last time all her suffering was because of me.

I bit her and her blood touched my lips. So hot, sweet with the thrilling explosive physic sensations that came with it intruded my defenses. We connected too easily she let her self open to me.

Now I was the one being tortured...

Image after image. Memory after memory. A parade of situations, jumbles of feelings and emotions that were hidden inside Little Bird's mind and dare to say it in her soul...

Random that's the best description of the onslaught of memories. It was like her. Like she always had been.

" _What's that?"_

_The male voice came from somewhere behind her._

" _It's a gift."_

" _A gift? From whom?"_

_She kept reading the note with a familiar writing in it. She was happy and touched. A bit of surprise was mixed in too._

" _He remember it."_

_The male's face appeared in front of her snatching the note. He tried to read it. He doesn't understand Italian. And for him she'd learn a little at college. She understood the note perfectly._

" _What does it says?"_

_She stared at him thinking hard what to say. Zander doesn't like the person who gave her the birthday gift. He wouldn't understand the significance of the stone embedded with the intricate design. For a person without knowledge would be just a beautiful necklace. For her was an instrument to expand her gifts. A tool to harness her gift and to strengthened her connection with nature. How could she explain all of this? He knows too well that her family couldn't afford this kind of gift._

" _Bonnie, what does it say?"_

" _Happy Birthday!"_

_His face changed understanding his mistake. The day was gone it was almost midnight and he didn't say or did anything to celebrate her day. How could the vampire remember it? It was the amazing aspect of it._

" _Bonnie..." She lifted her hand stopping him off saying another word._

" _Don't say anything. You had pack business to attend to. My girls visited me and sang to me the happy tune. Stefan's was with them. That's why you smelled vampire here and that's why you went outside again."_

_She picked her gift and put it on. She immediately felt the powers in it. She took the note from his hand and turned around. She wasn't mad at Zander. She was disappointed. That was the saddest part for her. They loved each other and she felt they became too accustomed to each other. That was the scary part because every time she think about it her old infatuation with a dark vampire who his heart could only see her best friend came to her mind._

" _Bonnie.."_

_She stopped and turned around._

" _Answer the door, Zander."_

_He looked at her in a strange way._

" _Pack stuff will knock on the door soon. Please do it outside. I'm tired."_

_She continued her way to their room. She glance at her gift. She couldn't stop touching it. She glance to the moon through the window. A single tear fall and a whisper came out of Kitten's lips. A whisper that didn't reach my ears that night._

" _Thank you, Damon."  
_


	4. Surprising Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are a OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

 

* * *

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 4**

  
_"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?"_   _~ **Confucius**_  


_"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler." **~ Friedrich Nietzsche**_

_"All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling." **~ Blaise Pascal**_

* * *

I tried to dictate or command her mind to show me what I wanted to see, but I was fascinated of what was she willing to let me see. Slowly I forgot the time constrains. I forgot I could kill her...

" _Why are you telling me this?_

Elena's voice came next. The image formed like a puzzle. Falling pieces meshed together.

" _Bonnie, I know Damon is important to you, but..."_

" _Stop! Elena I'm not blind okay. I know he loves you and you love him. I'm not quite sure how to feel about that triangle between you, Stefan and Damon. It's not my business. It's not fair but it's not my business."_

" _Bonnie!"_

" _What? Elena I think... I think both Stefan and Damon are worthy to be loved. If that is your calling suit yourself. I did an oath to help you get Stefan. I didn't do it to help you get Damon. I'm not doing it anymore. For once I want to love someone without fears and I really want to know what is to be in love. I want to learn to love someone like you do Elena."_

My Princess nodded at Red Bird's words. They both looked tired and sad. I wonder what provoked this conversation between them. I could think it was because of me but the triangle as Kitten put it has been around us quite some time now.

" _Bonnie, I love them. I struggled to accept that. I love them, but I can't have them both. Is not fair to anyone."_

" _You should talk to Meredith. She is better than me with level headed opinions, conclusion or thoughts. Remember I'm the scattered brain that act impulsively. I'm full of emotions that sometimes I don't understand..."_

Red Bird let out a sigh.

" _I still feel guilty you know. After this couple of years and watching him alive beside you; loving you. I can't stop feeling guilty."_

" _Oh! Bonnie! You shouldn't. I know if Damon have to do it again he would. He would save you again. I know it."_

" _My head agrees with you but my heart is quite rebellious about it."_

Kitten's voice was so sad. Her characteristic light embedded in her eyes... I couldn't see it. It was missing. How much had I hurt my girls?

" _Elena I'm going to give Zander an opportunity. I'm going to give me the opportunity. I'm somewhat scare about it but it is time to grow up."_

Elena hugged her. I couldn't stop to watch and admire this exchange between them. I didn't imagine Red Bird's feelings would be like that. Well I had guessed about them but this was a confirmation of my suspicions. Suspicions that I'd never wanted to think about.

Again I pushed her to show me what was I suppose to see, but Red Bird could be stubborn when she wanted to be. That always amused me like her inner strength that was so hard for her to see.

" _Where are we?"_

His arms surrounded her waist. She rested her head on his chest. They were watching the scenery of the lake and woods. The log cabin was behind them. It was a cliché moment. One that could be read in a book or watched in a silly romantic movie.

" _We deserve time for us. No pack stuff. No witch stuff."_

_She turned around and watched him intently._

" _Promise?"_

" _It's a promise."_

She kissed the wolf boy. And in a weird way I was happy for her. She was no longer the girl. She'd become a woman. A woman who deserved to be loved. The glint of the stone caught my attention. She was wearing my gift.

The memory continued playing like any movie. Their caresses and shows of affections became pretty heavy. They really were into each other. Soon part of their clothes were scattered around them. It was a sick fascination watching this scene unfold. But what was the Little Bird thinking? She deserved better than the ground and old leaves scratching her clear skin.

I couldn't believe that she was showing me this memory. That was too personal, too intimate. Something I didn't want to know.

"Red Bird stop!"

My mind urge her to change the scene. Apparently she wanted me to see it because when I was about to use my powers to force her mind the heated moment changed. The wolf boy went flying landing in the water. Red Bird was surprised and ashamed of what she did. The wolf boy was pissed.

" _Again! I can't believe this. Any time we are about to be together you just push me with your magic!"_

She hurriedly grabbed her clothes trying to hide what he was previously touching and caressing some mere seconds ago.

" _Zander, I'm sorry. I'm really trying. I get nervous and I can't control it. I don't know why."_

" _Sometimes I think that you don't want this to happen."_

" _That's not true."_

" _That's what you keep saying Bonnie. It's not funny anymore. We are living together!"_

" _I know Zander. I'm not dumb. Believe me I love you Zander. I really do."_

He didn't say anything else. He just turned around and walked into the woods leaving her alone. She was getting dress it was clear she was crying.

Anger filled my mind. Zander's reaction was childish. A man must respect and protect his maiden at any cost every single time. I was angry at the wolf boy. How dare he hurt like that?

But then who am I to question him. I did use her for my benefit. I did hurt her too. Not in the same degree, I think. But I hurt her nonetheless.

The sky in Kitten's memory changed from the cheerful blue to a mournful gray. I knew she did it and that was impressive. I didn't have a clear idea how much she had learned to use her gifts. She looked to where her wolf disappeared.

" _I'm sorry."_

Her tears came freely. Her emotions affected her surroundings. Such a connection. She was a powerful druid after all, but yet I could only see the human I must protect.

She was one of my girls and I let her slip through my fingers. From the get go I wanted Elena. I got Elena and yet...

Her sadness was hard to watch. And I didn't welcome the tug in my barely beating heart. I don't like emotions or feelings I didn't want to think about.

Humans! They just complicate things. Dannazione!


	5. Remorse, Sorrow

 

* * *

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 5**

_"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do." **― Voltaire**_

_"But sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions. [...] True sorrow is as rare as true love." ― **Stephen King, Carrie**_

_"There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the whip of their own remorse." **~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca**_

* * *

She couldn't say or do anything else because the next second she was on the floor with an arrow piercing her shoulder. Her pain was clear on her face. Now I understood why she showed me these memories of her with her beloved in the woods. It was here where they kidnap her. The scavengers of the Dark Dimension found her here, alone.

A couple of vampires appeared in front of her.

" _We got her."_

" _Are you sure. Is she the one?"_

" _Well we felt a surge of power and there is no one else here."_

_He then bend down and rudely pulled the arrow out._

She screamed and my anger resurfaced. I wasn't there to save her neither the wolf boy.

" _Don't damage the merchandise. Give her some of your blood. She will heal and make her sleep."_

They forced the blood into her. Now her mind went blank. Our connection faded and I felt someone pulling me.

"Damon you're going to kill her."

Elena's worried voice came and I blinked several times. I felt like someone took away something precious and completely mine.

"DAMON!"

She continued pulling me trying to get me away from the Little Bird. I focused my senses and realized that her heartbeat was too weak. I bit my wrist and made he drink. I forced her to drink giving the order to her mind. She started to drink and relief was the next emotion that I felt. This time it didn't come from her. This time it was me the one who produced that feeling. My undead heart slowly skipped one beat.

"Damon, please... please."

Only when I deemed that the moment was right I pulled my wrist from Red Bird's mouth. I watched one red drop falling from her lips drawing a sinuous path towards her neck. I instinctively cleaned the drop of blood and inspected the wound on her neck. She was already healing. Her heart was beating normally again. I gently put her down on the bed and watched her sleep.

"She's alive Elena. I didn't kill her."

I turned around without sparing a second on my Princess. I transformed and left Red Bird's room through the window. I wasn't prepare to tell Elena what I saw. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her what Little Bird showed me. I didn't know I wanted to finish Red Bird's story. Not yet.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

"I don't understand why do you insist to be here."

"Damon we'd been through this. I want to have this experience be with my friends and meet new people. So far it had been an unexpected and interesting experience."

"Yea, if you count those who tried to kill you."

"That's makes it interesting."

I kissed her. I'd never got tired.

"You're such.."

"I know."

I watched her glance towards that part of her dorm room.  _It's coming. Again._  And I wasn't wrong with my thoughts.

"I don't understand it."

"Princess, not again."

"Damon, please. She's missing college. That was one of her dreams. Be together the three of us. To experience this."

She did her typical gesture signaling the dorm as a metaphor of her true meaning of her words. We had discussed this many times before. So many times that Stefan and the scary Meredith already understood that I would not say anything. No matter what.

"We talked about it, Elena. I won't change anything."

I stood up from her bed. The room suddenly felt as a cage for me. This was getting tiresome and I'd never thought I would think like this about anything related to my Princess.

"Damon, please. She's my sister. I need to know where she is."

I glanced at what use to be Red Bird's bed.

Yes, Little Bird is like a sister to her. I should understand her feelings about it. I don't like to think or talk about feelings but if it was Elena or my bothersome Little Brother, would I let Elena or Stefan tell me no to my request?. If I reversed the roles how would I react?

I let out a tired sight and count up to ten. I don't like to repeat myself. I already said my last word about Little Bird and I won't change it. Elena grabbed my hand and pulled it a little. She wanted me to face her.

"Damon, if you..."

I turned around angry. I knew my monster face was on display.

"Don't you dare. You're the only creäture beside Stefan that knows me well. I've promised my silence and I never break my promises. I don't back down on my given word."

Angrily I pulled my hand. In a second I transformed to my raven form and flew away through the window. I won't tell. I didn't want to remember. The anger made me fly with no certain destination. I lost myself to the nature of the raven. I flew and played with the wind and sometimes with trees. I did circles, dives and spent my energy flying against the wind.

I needed to let my anger melt before turning back to my Princess. The thing was that I unknowingly flew to where I left my Little Bird. Why did I flew here? I didn't have a clue. Maybe it was my instinct to protect her. Or it was my subconscious playing with me again. I wasn't in the mood to psychoanalyze my actions. Or why I always get angry when someone pester me asking for the answer that I won't and can't give.

It was ironic. If Elena knew her so-called sister was so near her and yet so distant from her. That was what my Kitten asked from me. That was what I gave her. It was the right thing to do for her. Even if sometimes I felt I helped her to run away from her pain.

I wasn't ready to help her in a human way. I was the monster that had changed her life and the reason for her pain even if I didn't knew about it. I felt responsible and I don't do that sort of thing. I took the easiest way and granted her wish. Now I wonder what would have happened if I had said no to her. The two letters word that I'm force to say the love of my life.

Why it bothered me? I finally have Elena in my arms and still I couldn't be happy. Why the little pixie keep popping in my mind some randomly. Sometimes is me that brings her forward and other times my Princess just keep putting her in my thoughts.

I quickly descended and transform to my human form. I walk to the community college. Soon enough I will see her. In the mean time he allowed his mind to remember her memories.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

My mind wandered to her fear and fright. She woke up and didn't know where she was or what had happened to her or to her wolf boy. She felt pain and her body was sore that much was she able to learn. The cries of other people made her remember the other time were she was in a similar situation. She was at the Dark Dimension in one of the slave houses.

" _Not again!"_

Her soft and scared mumble was hypnotic to watch. She look frail and vulnerable.

The guilty, remorse feelings for not been there to save her returned with strong force. I don't like to feel responsible. I hate to feel guilty. I hate to feel... uncertain of everything that my mind and there to say it soul was feeling. I didn't believe that vampires can be saved. That we monsters that went against of all natural things can still have souls. That was one of the few things Little Brother and I always agreed. Until Elena came to our lives. She made us want to believe and now I can't get rid of these emotions.

Elena saved me, but then why... Why can't I let Red Bird go? I reached my goal and I won. Elena loves me and picked me. Why in hell I want more?

Soon two vampires came and roughly took her to be cleaned up.

It was easy to feel her pain and the faint hope that someone will come the save her. I flinched when she said my name. It was too low for any human to hear it, but two vampires did hear her and that won her a punch in her torso.

" _Quiet filthy slave!"_

They cleaned her up and made her walk in line with the other slaves. The auction was in full force. I watched how she closed herself up. I could understand why she did it. In some strange way Little Bird was stronger when she's scared, frighten. Her inner strength comes out. Too bad I'd discovered that too late. I don't think their dear friends know about it. I don't think even her wolf boy knew about it.

They sold each one of the slaves. She was the last one standing. If I had been human my heart would have skip and my body would have covered in goosebumps.

My Little Bird was sold, all right. It was expected. Her buyer was the surprise.


	6. Pain

**Disclaimer:**  All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.

 **A/N/Warning:**  This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely  **Author's Universe** , so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are a  **OOC**. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.

I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

* * *

 

 

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 6**

  
_"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness._ _We learn so little from peace."_ **_― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary_ **

_"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, _and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you."_   ** _― A.A. Milne_  **_

_"Nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that."_ **_― Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle_ **

* * *

Princess Jessalyn bought her.

Jessalyn walked up to the stage in all her dimwit glory. She always craved the attention. She'd look at the human standing in front of her. Two creatures with fiery hair watching each other.

The Princess touched Red Bird's hair. The Little Bird flinched a little and the vampire Princess smiled. The Princess requested a knife and cut the Little Psychic hand and tasted her blood. Jessalyn lifted Red Bird's shin up with unnecessary force.

" _You little slave. I'm talking to you."_

_She squeezed Red Bird's shin. A little whimper escaped from the human girl lips._

" _I don't like to be ignored."_

_The vampire supervising the auction came near to the pair._

" _My Lady I'm sorry to interrupt, but if you damage the merchandise you have to buy it."_

_Jessalyn glared at the vampire._

" _She's already mine."_

" _As you wish my Lady."_

_She then turned to see the trembling human in front of her._

" _You are going to explain to me. How did a filthy human like you knows my Damon?"_

_Red Bird's eyes reflected her surprise and then the doubt. How did this monster knew about Damon? How did she know that I know about him?_

_Jessalyn threw her to the floor. She turned around and glanced to her ward._

" _Take her to the dungeons."_

What have you done Little Bird? That question hunted me. Every time someone talk about her my mind drifts to our encounters. She had to fulfill an order and I let her. In a sick way at the end of her ordeal I was the one waiting for her to come to me.

At the beginning I didn't want to let her but she was suffering because of it and I... let her be.

I hated to see her suffer. Those damned humans changed me. Starting with Elena and ending up with the Mutt. I didn't want to admit it, but with every situation I ended up saving one of them, helping them, protecting them. They had become my humans and regretfully that put me on the same level as my Little Brother. Damn It!

And because of that I saw all her memories and felt all her pain. I've witness her bravery, her endless hope and her natural way to give forgiveness. I've discovered the hidden love and the doubts of letting it go for the chance to live with her wolf boy.

Yes, I had my struggles winning my Princess and admitting that I care for my brother, but I didn't expect what she showed me. The fragile member of my human group turned out to be the hidden surprise. She was stronger that she let anyone see because she didn't believe it herself. She was in the shadows helping in unexpected moments. I know Elena knows about her too. I suspect she knows better than me what Red Bird really means to me.

I turned to look to the people coming out of the College Library. I knew she would be here. The over enthusiastic and over emotional girl hide more than I'd believe. She smiled and walked towards me. This human made me promise and I fulfilled it.

She wanted to forget everything...

**~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~**

_The pain ran through her body. Waves after waves in a non-stop way. Her new master was mad at her because she kept her mouth shot. She can't remember how many times they done this to her. She can't remember how long she's been here in the Dark Dimension. She's slowly losing the sense of time. She only knows what she must protect and that is her soul, heart and her mind. Specially her mind, the crazy Princess hasn't stop to search in her mind. Every time she bite her, Every time she drank from her, Every time..._

_Non-stop, non-stop..._

_All this pain and still she has the tiny hope hidden within her heart. She knew he will come. She didn't know how or when. All did she know was the certainty of him delivering her freedom._

_Another probe, another excruciating bite._

_By now she has forgotten to struggle. She knew her human strength couldn't break the chains. She knew her gift couldn't do anything. She only waited for him and pray to anyone who could hear her to grant her life. She wanted to be alive when he comes for her. She have faith in him. She had never told him about it, but she believe in him._

_The knife pierced her skin. She was too weak to scream anymore. The fresh slash hurts. The flow of her warm blood tinted her pale skin. The golden cup was raised to gather her blood. The Princess had become addicted to the strange mix of her blood with the black magic wine._

_The princess had learned how to control her impulse. That much Bonnie had guessed. She like the strange beverage and for the little things that Bonnie had learned the crazy vampire was making money from it._

" _You little human!"_

_She flinched at the harsh tone used by her master. She didn't know if her reaction was from fear or the pain. At this point it didn't matter. The Princess grabbed harshly her hair to made her look at her. How much she wanted to hate her? But her body was too tired to do it._

" _You keep your stubborn silence and you'll die. I'll drain you and bathe in your blood."_

_Too tired...to even speak..._

" _ANSWER ME!"_

_The Princess minion lashed her back. It was different this time. She felt the metal little spikes at the end of the whip. The whip slashed open her skin. It wasn't the first time the princess ordered flogging to torture her. They just changed the instrument to do the flogging. And it hurt like hell._

_One..._

_Swoosh.. I won't scream..._

_Two_

_Swoosh...I won't give up._

_Three_

_Swoosh...She has to kill me._

_Four_

_Now the Princess' face was near her. Too near. It was true what she once had thought about vampires. Vampires don't know the meaning of personal space._

" _You'll cave and give me what I want. I always get what I want."_

_The blissful darkness was near. She had learned to expect it, feel it, and she was so willing to welcome it._

" _I don't like to repeat my words slave."_

_Too much pain. Too much to protect. Too much to forgive. Too much to forget._

_She heard a hoarse voice. At first she didn't recognize it. She hadn't talk to anyone since she arrived to this hell._

" _There... is...a... first...time...for...everything."_

_Her face hurt because without thinking she smiled at her captor. She knew the crazy master was addicted to her blood. She knew about the money. The Princess hated her but wanted her alive. This torture was like groundhog day for her. Tomorrow she will wake up with her body healed. Tomorrow she will wait for the Princess minion to take her to the torture chamber._

_Tomorrow will be another day. Yes, another day to keep alive the hope of seeing Damon again._

_Tomorrow..._

He snapped out of Red Bird's memory. Her sing-song voice reached his ears. She looked healthy. Her skin looked soft and her fiery hair was vibrant. She was full of life and at this precise moment she was giving him her beautiful smile.

Yes, he did the right choice keeping his word. She needed to forget, but then he didn't know why he couldn't erase one memory from her tortured mind.

"You came."

She wasn't afraid of him. She hugged him with all the strength her frail human body could do. She was happy to see him. That was so rare. To see another human being happy to see him besides Elena.

"I did promise."

She nodded.

"That you did. There is a party at the frat house. Do you want to come with me?"

He looked at her carefully. Maybe he had erase too much from her mind. Her doe, innocent eyes called him in.

"Yes"

She jumped from happiness. That hadn't change. At least something hadn't change after his compulsion.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him. He let her do it. He was too lost in his thoughts to even consider the fact of the frat party. Strangely enough Elena didn't come up either, only one question remained up front in his mind.

Why didn't he do it? Why couldn't he erase it? Why did he kept his face and name ingrained in Red Bird's mind? Why?

 


	7. Oasis

 

* * *

**  
Mirages of Love - Chapter 7**

_"I couldn't take my eyes off him. Like a desert wanderer afraid of mirages, I gazed at my oasis, but he was real."_   
**_― Laura Whitcomb, A Certain Slant of Light_ **

_"On your journey to your dream, be ready to face oasis and deserts. In both cases, don't stop"  
 **― Paulo Coelho**_

_"There would never be anything but this. Stolen moments, stolen kisses, a secret oasis."_   
**_― Melissa de la Cruz, Keys to the Repository_ **

* * *

Since Bonnie's kidnapping everything was upside down. We tried to keep the mirage of the perfect group of friends. We were friends who from time to time gathered to keep connected. Some had found new loves others are still tragically entwine in a romantic triangle. We keep ignoring the big white elephant in the room.

My humans friends didn't know about the fights. My Lovely Love and my brother kept fighting about the same thing, but then are too cautious to worry Matt or Meredith. Damon conceded that to Elena. The peace of the night was often interrupted by their arguments. Elena wants to find Bonnie. Elena wants to know what Damon did to her friend? And especially she wants to know why he did it?

I know Elena and she won't give up until she gets what she wants. I know my brother and he won't break the promise he gave. Apparently he gave his word to Bonnie and he's now bound by it.

So stubborn both of them and yet... I still love them. Even if it hurts. Frankly it's just tiresome to be under this continuous tension. I haven't talked to Matt of Meredith about it but it was easy to guess why they kept the reunions to just "hang out" to a minimum these days.

Again I heard Damon's angry words and Elena's pleading. Now it was the perfect time.

I'll follow him and discover where he goes every time he has a spat with Elena. I just hope he won't sense me too soon.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Here we were at a dreadful human party. Why on earth did I said yes?

I flew away from my Princess because I didn't want to mistreat her, but this was...

"Damon?"

Red Bird's sing-song voice interrupted my brooding. Oh hell! When did I start brooding? That's Stefan's territory.

"Damon... come on!"

I let her pull me towards the dancing space. It was hot. Too many bodies gyrating after the rhythm and beats of this awful music. These kids were clueless of what true music was.

"Damon, please move a little."

I stared at her. Her big doe eyes watching and expecting some sort or response. She was jumping like the others. Yes, what they were doing was jumping because it didn't make any sense to call it dancing. I smirked and grabbed her.

I surprised her and a delicious blush appeared on her skin. To the human eye would be difficult to see but I was no human. Her heart beat raced a little and that made me smirk again.

I moved our bodies trying to follow the beats of the music.

"Damon..."

"Shh! Red Bird. Let it go."

She closed her eyes and submitted to my movements and surprisingly I let it go too. I didn't want to think if I did the right thing. I didn't want to think that I was playing with fire. Or the fire was playing with me?

I pursued my Elena and for some I force her heart to love me when she still love my brother. She wouldn't love if her heart wasn't craving it. I was fully aware of that fact and yet I kept coming to where my Little Bird was. Her pull came stronger after I erased her memories. That was something that I needed to figure it out.

We created our little world of movements. Our bodies moved as one. We started at the middle of the dancing floor and somehow now we were in one of the darkest corners of the room still dancing.

Her breathing mingled with her delightful scent. Her hair was soft and playful in my hands. Her pale skin showcased me the beautiful blue lines hidden under it. The enticing beat of her heart...

The music changed and this time was a slower beat and a slower tune. Our paced changed. It felt like hours, but our little world appeared just a mere minute ago. I leaned toward her delicious neck and inhale. Her little soft moan almost made me lose control. I kissed her pulse line and she moved her head. She was giving me easy access.

After erasing her memories I had promise to not drink her blood again. She didn't have to know I was a vampire. She didn't have to know the supernatural world was real. I didn't voice the promise to anyone. I felt it was the right thing to do. I had promise to not make her live this experience again and yet. The predator in me resented that. He loves to drink from Elena, he loves to drink from Little Bird. He knew he struck gold to have two human so delicious at his disposal.

I was hungry in a feral way. I was hungry for the taste of the psychic cocktail full of life and intoxicating colors that promise her blood. Every-time it didn't disappoint. This ravenous hunger was unbearable. It crept slowly inch by inch. My fangs itching for freedom. My mind reeling in possibilities.

The little noises of pleasure she did every time I kissed or licked her neck was the right music to my ears. The protector flew away from my mind. The predator danced with joy. But at the last moment a tiny annoying little voice pleaded to my predator to not do it. You promised! He says. But the promise was for him. No one new about it. No one! I'm NOT Stefan!

She felt my hesitation and her hands brushed my hair. Now she was looking at me. She licked her lips and I lost it. She cast her spell and I fell under it.

I kissed her and she responded to my demanding kiss. Everything disappeared, the music was gone, the smells of all the humans didn't bother me anymore. The strange sensation of someone watching us lost any relevance to me.

Now I kissed her neck again and played with little bites. My fangs came out and I forgot my problems and bit her. Her nectar rushed to my mouth and I drank like a desperate person. Like the person lost in a desert and discovered that the mirage of the oasis was real. The coveted water was real. His life saved. I found my oasis.

The tiny voice was silent the predator drunk with her blood.

I couldn't help it...

Our souls meshed...

 


	8. Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 8**

_"I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand."_   
**― L.J. Smith**

_"What if you find your soul mate... at the wrong time?"_   
**― Lauren Kate, Passion**

_"We can also allow our Soulmate to pass us by,without accepting him or her,or even noticing. Then we will need another incarnation in order to find that Soulmate. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture humankind ever invented for itself: loneliness."_   
**― Paulo Coelho**

* * *

 

He couldn't believe his eyes. Damon and Bonnie, Bonnie and Damon. He kissed her and drank from her. He always knew she was special to him. He knew she loved him. But never in their excruciating journey he imagined this. Both of them fought so hard for Elena. Why did his brother kept seeking Bonnie? But was it really something special? or It was the mere act of drink her blood?

He shrugged a little. Everything was more complicated that he ever envisioned.

It wasn't Damon's normal character. His brother had a thing of red heads and with their tumultuous sibling relationship it never occurred to him to ask him why.

More than a half a millennium ago they fought for another golden beauty. A mischievous, trickster and deadly beauty, but a beauty nonetheless. Katherine hurt them so bad. They lost their way. They stopped being brothers until Elena appeared in their lives.

He had to admit he never paid to much attention to Bonnie. She was beautiful when he met her but with a childlike attitude and crazy romantic views. He protected her because she was one of Elena's dearest friends. Eventually she'd become her friend. A fragile human with an amazing gift. She helped him find and connect with Elena when he needed it the must. Elena died and he craved to know about her. Where was she? If she was happy and cross to the eternal light or was she lingering waiting for them to bring her back. He desperately wanted to be with her. Touch her essence again. To feel her again.

Bonnie did that for him. Bonnie gave her blood to him too. She trust him without reservations and for that he was grateful. He wished he could have help her more, but too much was happening around them since day one.

Damon was with Elena now. Bonnie didn't deserve what his doing to her. She doesn't deserve to suffer like he do. He still love Elena with all his power. Elena was his home, his port. He knows even Elena only want friendship from him; he will be there for her. Forever!

He waited by now his brother must know he was there leaned against a tree in front of the brat house waiting for them to come out.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Meshed souls are unique. They are at their pick of their happiness. As one they share from the banal things to the most intimate desires. They discovered if they are meant to be together. And for Damon he discovered he was meant to mesh with this pure soul with sadness embedded and hopes that reach far away more than the stars.

This soul was not Elena's. It can't be! He had share his soul with Elena too. He can't be meant for this two maidens. It was just not possible. He has to run away from this fairy vixen who willingly let him do to her whatever he wants. No questions asks. That's not good. Not at all.

What has he done? Was his Little Bird so accommodating because of his compulsion? The doubt crept through his mind.

That made him blink and fight to return to sanity. He has to stop drinking.

Reluctantly he claim his soul back. He detached his soul from Red Bird's soul. He felt her cry for his abandonment. He force his soul to recoil because his instinct was to be eternally attached to her.

Slowly the noises came back attacking his fine hearing. The wretched music blasting from those damn speakers. The smells of a drunk humans reached his nostrils. He almost pushed his precious Kitten away.

He retracted his fangs and the soft moan of Little Bird called to him. He drank from her, he had broken a promise the first time on his long life. She was there in front of him swaying following his movements.

He then realized he was still moving to the softer tune that no longer exists. He stopped and moved his hands to encased his Little Bird face between them. She opened her eyes, big brown and enticing him to stay with her. He kissed her this time softly almost ceremoniously.

She didn't know what was she doing to him. So different to his Princess. Elena was adventure, passion, the world in his hands. Her love was fierce and consuming. Elena was like him; his equal.

Bonnie was... home. How long has he been living without a port to dock on, a land where he let his roots grow deep. It couldn't be. The last time he felt rooted was when he was a little child. When his mother waited for him with open arms. He would run to her. She would pick him up and swirl with him a couple of times. Laughter was their accompanying music. She would tell him over and over how much she love him. He was his little angel.

Red Bird made him remember that feeling. She made him covet that feeling. He couldn't be wanting what his Little Brother always sought out. NO!

He let her go. Her flushed face was delightful. She swayed a little. He took too much blood, but she still will be fine. She didn't need his blood. Not this time.

"I'm tired."

"Lets get you home."

She didn't say anything. He already made her believe they had a simple make out session. He didn't want her to believe something else happened between them. He was clear she'll expect more from him. He didn't know what he would do about it. He know what must be done, but he wanted to do what his heart desired the most.

He encased her against him. His arm resting on her slim waist. Her head leaning on him. They walked out from the Brat house from hell.

A vampire he knew too well stepped on their path. He had sense a weak supernatural force, but he had ignored it. He was too intoxicated with Red Bird's blood to pay attention to it.

"Hello, brother"

He strengthened his hold on Kitten. She stirred a little and her soft voice interrupted his not so politically correct remark. He scowled a little. He was planning to use Italian.

"I had dream about you."

Both vampires reacted at the same time.

"You what!"

Her remark was for Stefan and not him.


	9. Let it go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.

* * *

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 9**

_"If you like her, if she makes you happy, and if you feel like you know her-then don't let her go."_ **― Nicholas Sparks, _Message in a Bottle_**

_"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."_

**― Deborah Reber, _Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul_**

"Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is."  
 **― Maxim Gorky, _The Lower Depths and Other Plays_**

* * *

You dreamed about him!"

She let out a yawn. It was obvious, it was rather difficult for her to keep her eyes open. Instinctively she pressed herself on me and I graciously kept my strong hold on her. Her voice was soft and her words were a mere murmur. Our vampire hearing came in handy.

"Yes, as I dreamed about you too."

"Let's go home."

I ignored Stefan strange gesture. It was for less than a second, but I definitely saw something.

I pulled Red Bird a little. She got the message and started to walk following my lead. If we were in a secluded area I would have flown to Red Bird's apartment. I ignored my brother presence. I would deal with him later.

"Wait."

She stooped walking and turned to were my brother was still standing looking at us like we were some laboratory specimen. She smile at him.

"Don't stay there. Come with us."

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Elena kept pacing thinking hard of what was happening to her life. Granted, she couldn't claim she was a normal girl. That was out of the question. She couldn't claim that it was impossible to love two people at the same time with such intensity that sometimes she felt out of breath. She couldn't claim that jealousy was a feeling she didn't know about.

How many times she talked to her reflection on the mirror. Saying everything was okay. Her feelings of dread and jealousy was mere fictions of her imagination. She couldn't comprehend what was happening. Damon absence in her life was a common thread now.

It had been a slow process since they saved Bonnie from the Dark Dimension; Again! How many times her friend would be in trouble and one of her beloved has to save her. How many times her Dark Vampire had run to save another woman; her friend. Her sister!

No! The lie her mind concocted horrified her. What was she become? She couldn't think like that. She has a mere suspicion to where her boyfriend goes every time he disappears.

She wanted to believe he goes to drink his frustration out. To have a nameless blood donor instead of her blood. Just to minimized hurting her. But it was so hard to believe it. Her heart kept telling her to whom Damon goes to. She guessed with her whole heart where he goes.

She sometimes hated Bonnie because of her suspicions rooted in her heart. Other times the remorse to feeling it or just thinking about it left her stunned. She loved Bonnie and yet...

She was Damon's Dark Princess. She knew it since she felt his eyes on her for the first time. She struggled to admit her love for him. She didn't want to hurt anybody especially Stefan and she ended up doing it. After all they went through. After all she went through she was losing Damon to the typical and mundane couple spats.

She wanted Damon to obliged her request to know where was Bonnie and what he did to her. Even though she knew better than anyone about how Damon is with his giving word, promises or oaths.

She wanted to be the only one capable to make Damon break his word. It was selfish she knew it, but still...

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

They were at Damon's apartment.

The night had been full of discoveries. Stefan had watched his brother placed Bonnie in a tenderly way on her bed. He felt Damon's power searching for any threats near Bonnie's apartment.

These actions had him perplexed. Stefan knew Damon saved Bonnie several times and when his brother died; Stefan discovered the love of Bonnie for his brother. Damon changed after they rescued Bonnie from the crazy Princess. He had wondered countless of times what had happenned?

He silently followed his brother. And now he was standing as an intruder in Damon's abode watching his brother's back. Damon was angry, pissed off. That much he felt.

"What do you want Stefan?"

It sounded more like a growl than mere crystal clear words. What was bothering his brother? He didn't answer Damon's question. And his silence had a painful result. In a blink of an eye Damon turned around and grabbed his neck. He pushed him against the wall. His brother was using more strength than ever. It was a mere second, but he saw Damon's inner turmoil.

Stefan had witnessed the same turmoil in another person. He saw it in Elena's eyes. Stefan widened his eyes. He realized the truth and suspected his brother was fighting it with all his strength. He was sure now more than ever. Damon the vampire who despised humans. Damon the vampire who see the humans as mere food was in love. His brother not only loves Elena. Damon loves the fiery pixie too. Bonnie has won a part of Damon's heart.

"Little Brother, I don't like to repeat my words. Answer me!"

Stefan felt how Damon turned down a little his strength of his grip. Now Stefan could freely talk.

"I want the truth, Brother."

Stefan was risking it, but he needed to know. This sick game needed to stop. Vampires can block emotions but that was impossible for humans. He knows how hard it was for Elena the constant struggle between her two loves. He as a vampire could live the pain of not being Elena's only love. But he wasn't sure if Bonnie could live with it. Human heart is a fragile thing. Bonnie is his friend. He had come to care about her dearly like a little sister. It was easy for him to understand why Elena love her dear friend so much. Why Meredith and Elena were so willing to defend her and rescue her.

It was easy to love a caring creäture. Bonnie gives love to whomever was smart enough to let her love her or him. She was too forgiving.

"Is not your business."

"It is when Elena's is involve. You think I didn't notice it! Elena and you are fighting more and more. And I suspect the main reason is Bonnie. And what was my surprise to see her alive and well and to top it off she couldn't remember me."

Damon released me and I instinctively rubbed my neck.

"It's not fair Damon. It is a living hell to love someone who doesn't love you. And to create the mirage, the illusion for the person who is in love with you is simply cruel."

He turned around. Anger was on all his face, his hands were fists and his body radiated this urge to destroy anything in front of him. And I was the one in front of him. He was trying to control what was inside of him. I didn't care.

"You love her brother."

He kept looking at me like I was crazy.

"You love her and you refuse to admit it. Stop fighting it and you'll understand better what do you need to do."

In rare and very few occasions Damon lowered his eyes. I thought I hit a nerve and he was going to admit the truth. I was so wrong. The next thing I felt was a surge of his power and I landed on my butt against the wall. In moments like this I give thanks that vampires didn't need to breathe.

Damon walked towards me and leaned down. He grabbed me by my hair.

"Out!"

"Damon!"

"I said get out."

I walked to the window and started to climb out.

"Be careful of what you'll tell Elena."

I turned and stared at him. In a bold move I risked it again. I told him what he needed to hear.

"Don't keep illusions and mirages, Damon. Bonnie deserves better. She deserves a life; a real life. I don't know why she couldn't remember me. I have a guess, just a guess. Maybe you granted her a foolish request. She loves you that much I know and I think you love her too. You can't have both. Let one go. If you choose Elena; then promise me to let Bonnie go. Let her live her life. And if you choose Bonnie..."

"I let Elena be with you." I didn't like the sarcastic tone in his words.

"Careful brother. I can forget my promise and drink human blood just to give you a well deserve lesson."

The cruel laugh coming out of my brother was kind of creepy. His reaction surprised me. It was a rare thing to hear him laugh even though it was in a sarcastic way.

"You'll keep pestering me with this. Are you?"

"Yes, I will. Even if I have to tell everything to Elena. What I saw at the party, how you treated Bonnie in her apartment, how you are fighting what is so clear to me. I don't care if you kill me."

"I know you don't."

"Damon for once..."

"Stop it! Your begging is bothersome and tiring. I give you my word. I'll let one go."

I nodded and turn around. I was almost out when I heard the soft murmur of Damon's words.

"Brother, it's not mere mirages and illusions. They are not."

Damon didn't admit it openly what I discovered today. He didn't admit that he loves Bonnie. He still loves Elena I knew that even if it hurts me. But his promise was enough confirmation for me. My brother was in love, but which was his true and real love?

I guess time will tell. I let go of my musings. I have spotted a rather big deer. It will become my supper. I needed the blood.


	10. Search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 10**

_"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced_ _life."_

**― Elizabeth Gilbert, _Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia_**

_"I am a cage, in search of a bird."_ **― Franz Kafka**

_"I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me."_   
**― Hermann Hesse, _Demian_**

* * *

Damon wanted to kill something. He wanted to let loose his inner beast and be his true self. The monster who kills for nourishment. After his brother sermon he flew away. He wasn't ready to go to Elena. No in his actual state. He felt like he was about to explode. He didn't do that he always had control of everything.

He looked at the patrons in the seedy bar. A filthy joint away from his brother or any of his girls. The hunger needed to be placated and his anger needed to be quenched.

The dim light created shadows where he could sense hidden creatures lurking in them. He was not the only one in there. He sniffed a little. A drunk werewolf, a haggard witch, baby vamp drinking desperately. Yes, this was the right place to be.

The stench of sickness and drunkenness permeated all the bar. He was lucky. Vampires didn't get sick and he was sure these tortured souls will thank him. Yes, thank him because one of these lucky bastards will be his dinner and the poor soul will be set free.

He ordered bourbon. The old bartender handed it to him. Damon dropped a bill and requested the old human the bottle.

Drink after drink his mind drifted to the events of this night. The delicious blood of his Little Bird. The annoying words of his brother. And the unnerving truth in his brother's words. How much he wanted to snap Stefan's neck tonight? He wanted to shut him up. The vile and burning truth of Stefan's words kept going on and on in his mind.

Hours after his soul meshed with his Red Bird he still could feel the hollow she left in him. His entire being was crying to come back to her. The agonizing part of this was he didn't expect it. He had meshed with Elena's soul and mind before. He had discovered how intriguing and wonderful Elena's mind was. He felt right to let loose and entwined his mind withe her mind. He felt the possibilities for everything including happiness. Damon, was right Elena was and is his Princess of Darkness.

Then, everything got complicated. Why did Red Bird's soul called to him? It was a powerful call. A call he was dreading to answer again. This call can actually change everything. Did he wanted to change everything? Did he wanted to answer that call? Did he deserved her?

His Little Bird had suffered because of him too much. He was the culprit. His mind drifted again to memories he did no longer want to have.

_The wolf boy was the bearer of the news. His beloved, my Red Bird, was missing. It was ironic, that morning Elena told me she was happy because we had some peaceful weeks. No rogue vampires, no werewolves, no crazy witches or warlords. No foreign creatures or deities. Whatever they wanted to be called. Stefan and I had a tense calm between us._

_Our goal was to make Elena happy. She was with me at the moment. She wanted to give us a chance, but she didn't want my brother gone. To my chagrin that was her wish and as the fools we were, we conceded that to her._

_Scary Meredith was with Alaric. Red Bird was with her wolf boy. Mutt... I didn't care where he was. My Princess was happy and still I somehow couldn't relax. It was peaceful, all right, but it was like the tense calm before the storm._

_The frantic call came near noon. The wolf boy called Elena and by the myriad of emotions reflected on her face we instantly knew something was wrong. Stefan gave me a worried glanced. I perk up and paid attention to Elena's words and the faint sound of wolf boy's voice through the phone._

_Dread came from nowhere. I didn't know why I felt that. I just knew I had to save her, again._

" _Bonnie's gone. Zander lost her in the woods. They have some disagreement and he stormed off. When he returned he couldn't find her. He followed her scent. But, he lost her in Arizona."_

_We all knew what that meant._

_Elena called Meredith and told her the news and her plan A. Arizona was our destination._

_We fought several times during the journey. I wanted to go faster, but the humans thought they needed some sort of reassurance. They wanted to know if their friend was in fact in Arizona or if their fears were right. We visited an old acquaintance of mine. The old witch confirmed what I already knew. Red Bird was in fact in the Dark Dimension._

_The girls became our slaves again. This time with two masters. Stefan was with us and during the journey to Arizona and the short trip to Lady Ulma's. Elena convinced him to have some of her blood. According to Elena, Stefan needed to be in his greatest shape. I agreed with that, what I didn't like the fact of Stefan drinking my Princess' blood._

I let out a short chuckle. Maybe that time was the beginning of our drifting apart. Yes, I think that was. Elena and I had more discussions than ever. Something was bothering me and I didn't recognize it. It was worry. I was worrying for my Red Bird's life.

I finished my drink and pour another one. I finished the bottle. I called the old bartender and paid for another bottle of bourbon. He looked me weird. Soon I'll have to compel him. I don't get drunk and I wasn't in the mood to explain things.

"Hi gorgeous!"

I glanced at the female. She was human her heartbeat told me that much. Her poor perfume was hideous and the scent of her previous male was on her. I wondered if she was a professional or simply stupid. Her pale skin didn't help her. Her blond hair was fake, her dark roots betrayed her. Red lips, smoky eyes and alcohol breath. Her blood would not taste good, but it was her or the drunken guy at the end of the bar.

"Care to share."

"Yes"

Her fake smile disappeared and I in a second grabbed her. For the other patrons would seem I wanted to kiss her. The truth was I compelled her to shut her mouth, to finish her drink and wait for my next command. I wanted to finish my second bottle with some sort of peace. I did still have a decision to make.

_Lady Ulma gave us the trending gossip. She told us about the new product on the streets. Vampires were addicted, hooked with it. She talked about the crazy vampire princess who had and absurd amount of exclusive balls._

_She sent a servant girl to buy some of this product. It was Black Magic Wine. I wondered what was so special if it's still the same old wine? The servant girls explained us what the seller told her. This wine was exclusively for vampires. No humans or any other creäture could drink it._

_I saw how Elena didn't let Stefan drink it. According to her he was still weak. With anger running through my body I grabbed the damned bottle and drank from it. The well-known taste of the wine was the first thing I'd noticed, then in a second a physic explosion surge from nowhere. I knew it was the wine. The wine had something new in it and it was powerful. I liked it._

_The images ran so fast that I almost stumble. I faintly heard Elena saying my name. I had the strange sensation I knew this power, but yet I couldn't place it. I sat down to process what I saw._

_I glanced at the servant._

" _You girl, I want you to drink it."_

" _Damon, no. It's only for vampires."_

" _Elena.."_

" _Damon." Stefan the hero, had to intervene. Maybe this time he was right to do it. He stopped and argument between my Princess and I._

" _Stop it, brother. I'm her master and I'm ordering her to drink it."_

_The trembling girl came to me and reluctantly took a sip. She didn't react._

" _Well..."_

" _Master, it tastes like wine."_

" _Do you feel something?"_

" _No, master."_

" _Leave us."_

" _Why?"_

_I turned to see my Princess. She was equally perplexed like my brother. Probably I was acting like a madman. Well a crazy vampire._

" _I think the wine is mixed with blood. A powerful blood."_

_I grabbed the bottle and offered to my brother._

" _Drink it brother. It will make you stronger."_

_I didn't want him to drink from my Princess again. I couldn't stand it. Besides I wanted to see Stefan's reaction to the powerful drink. Elena didn't say anything as she watched my brother drink. He opened his eyes wide full with surprise._

" _Well, Brother..."_

" _I know this taste, Damon. I drank it before. She helped me alongside Meredith and Matt. They kept me alive."_

_A gasp came out from Elena._

" _It can't be. No!"_

" _Brother if you don't start talking I will personally make sure..."_

" _Damon it's Bonnie's blood."_

_He stunned me into silence._

" _I drank Bonnie's blood after my rescue from the Shi no Shi."_

I still had half of my second bottle. My fangs were already fighting to get out. I glanced at the human beside me.

"Sweetheart look at me." She did it.

"Go to the bathroom and clean yourself, especially here." I touched her neck. "After you finish return to me."

I watched my dinner, go and do what I had ordered her to do. She will taste bitter...


	11. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 11**

"Let me give you a piece of advice. The handsome young fellow who's trying to rescue you from a hideous fate is never wrong.

Not even if he says the sky is purple and made of hedgehogs."  **― Cassandra Clare, _Clockwork Angel_**

"Love: It will kill you and save you, both"  **― Lauren Oliver, _Delirium_**

"You saved me life, she tried to tell him. Not forever, not for good. Probably just temporarily. But you saved my life, and now I'm yours.

The me that's me right now is yours. Always."  **― Rainbow Rowell, _Eleanor & Park_**

* * *

_We tracked down the "new wine" and found out the crazy princess was the owner. That night she had a ball and we crashed it._

_I knew her palace too well. It was Jessalyn abode. Once I gained her trust and walked as I was the owner of this tasteless mansion. We were lucky it was a masquerade ball. I assume she was angry at me. I did romanced her until I got what I wanted from her. After I became a vampire I abandoned her and never thought about her again. A scorned female is something to watch out for._

_Since the last time he has been here Jessalyn had re-decorated. Her palace had more gold and precious stones embedded in its walls. It was a royalty statement. Not a good one if anyone asks him. We went to the ballroom. And the sight was worse than the previous rooms. However, the sight in front of us, some could call it a festive paradise for vampires. The tables had a very special kind of food on them._

_Various human females and males laid naked on the tables. The guests were drinking from them and when they finished with the human they threw the body to the floor. Jessalyn's servants will pick the body and they will serve the next plate, another human. The stench of the blood was everywhere._

_The vampires had their personal slaves attending to them. The main courses were the humans on the table, but there were other drinks and appetizers available. The slaves brought them to their masters. Other masters apparently were already satiated and wanted other kind of services from their slaves. A lot of unmentionable, and common pleasurable exchanges accompanied by the sounds of pain and ecstasy were the prevailing music. For some humans this grand orgy could be disgusting. For what we were witnessing the word orgy was the accurate word. For vampires who live their true nature was normal. I guessed, for my brother it was troublesome._

_The perfect banquet and orgy at the same time. Yes, definitely normal._

" _Stefan, don't let Elena out your sight."_

_He nodded. I knew the place. I knew the crazy b*tch. I knew how scorned women tend to react. And it was my Red Bird, who was missing. My Little Bird was my responsibility._

_I was about to walk out to search for my Little Bird..._

Damon drank the woman dry. She was worthless and her soul begged him. She wanted freedom and he obliged. He granted it. He flew to Elena's dorm. She was sleeping. His Princess of Darkness was marvelous. He loves her. That hadn't change, but he wasn't sure the type of love he felt for her. Not anymore.

He crept to her bed and lay down beside her. She moved and rest her head on his chest.

"Goodnight. Love you."

"Love you too, Princess."

He couldn't fell asleep. His mind kept wondering.

_The royal announcement reached my ears. The Princess requested silence from her guests._

" _Now the main attraction. I had a little something. I know some of you wanted it because they asked me about it. The thing is I want to start a new venture. This one is no longer needed,but it will serve well for our future gatherings. Every time... How should I say it? Oh yes! Every time it will have a new role to fulfill."_

_Jessalyn glanced toward us and a creepy feeling came slowly crawling into my skin. It was like she knew who we are._

_Her cynical laugh meant an entirely different thing. The guests understood it and laugh with her. Vampires loved their power, and subsequently they love any scheme they concoct to keep that power. Money was a good measure of it and an instrument used constantly to get anything. It was a sport for us. We could use compulsion or enjoy how we can corrupt everything with our wealth._

_I looked at my brother. Maybe Stefan had a clue after all; he who denies the true form of vampirism. The brother I loathed and make fun because his fool decision to drink animal's blood instead human blood. Stefan despises anything that toyed with humans, including me. Until Elena I couldn't understand it. I didn't want to understand him. I'll never admit it to him._

_The crazy vampire princess called to attention and explained the rules of the game. No real names would be used; our masks will identify us. Every vampire will have an entry. There will be three winners who will have the delicate treat available to them. It was an exclusive gift bestowed to us by her royal highness. The last rule, killing the gift wasn't allowed._

Elena mumbled something. Sometimes she talks during her sleep. I watched her carefully. Her delicate features. Her beauty who had captured me among others fools. Her intelligence and wit was a constantly an enticing call to me. She was unique and I love her. I should be happy more than ever. I had my coveted Princess in my arms. Finally!

Since I lay out my eyes on her for the first time I knew I had to have her. I did that; I finally had the girl. Why was so difficult to feel fulfilled or happy?

Reality bit me with such a force and I succumbed to the playful ways of the fates. How did I let another human crawl up into my being?

I'm the master of the games. I refuse to lose. Not yet.

I caressed Elena's arm and let my mind to return to my memories and ruminations. I needed to make a choice and it has to do it tonight.

_We played her game. Everyone was paying attention who played. I glanced at Stefan, grimaced concern etched on his features. I saw Elena's subtle reaction. She knew it was not the place and time to raise her objections._

_The names were drawn, the winners picked. Destiny played with us or as suspected earlier the Princess already knew who we were. We won, out of the three Stefan and I filled two spots. I refused to leave my slave Elena behind. The Princess servant reluctantly lets us bring her with us. To my satisfaction this didn't sit well with the slave. The third winner was a newbie. The vampire couldn't have more than mere months._

_Jessalyn's slave took us to another room where the royal highness was waiting for us. It was a sparse room of any furniture, but the walls and the door behind the Princess were heavily decorated with horrid combinations of precious stones silver and gold._

_Elena tend to us while we were waiting. She poured more wine as any slave would do. It was our only justification to force her to presence with us. We didn't want another slave serving us. The Princess nodded._

" _I do understand the sentiment."_

_Jessalyn walked around Elena. She studied her with clinical eyes._

" _I could buy her. She is a nice specimen."_

_Stefan subtly touched Elena's hand warning her to not move or say anything. Elena then poured some more wine to my brother's cup. I couldn't say anything. I was certain Jessalyn could find who I was._

" _Very well my winners, you paid and you'll cherish my treasure. Remember no killing." Jessalyn's darted her eyes to the newbie._

_Jessalyn's turned around and opened the door behind her. We entered some sort of chamber. I briefly glanced and notice one of the walls was crystal. We could see the debauchery held in the ballroom. I couldn't recall if I had visited this room in my earlier stay. I didn't have enough time to wonder about it because in the middle of the room Red Bird was standing there._

_Red Bird's had her hands bounded to heavy chains attached to the walls._ _The chains kept her arms open like she was the sacrifice. It almost looked like a crucifixion without the cross. Her head held low and it was easy to see her red hair tightly braided and adorned with a multiple diamonds. The only light was in the middle of the ceiling directed towards her creating the effect of a false moon beam._

_Her attire was white, almost translucent. I should have paid more attention to the incessant chats of women about clothes because I wasn't sure which type of material she was wearing. It was too delicate. It was easy to see Red Birds body silhouette._

_She had a white skimpy top. Her neck, shoulders, arms and belly exposed to our hungry, eager eyes. The skirt was of the same material with high cuts. Her legs were equally exposed. It was a sight; a delectable sight. She was no longer the girl I once saved in a library. She was a woman._

_She slowly lifted up her head to see who entered her prison. And her dead eyes felt like a wooden stake through my dead heart. A gasp escaped from Elena's lips. I touched her arm in a warning. Elena poured me some more wine as an excuse for her reaction._

_Kitten's eyes flickered recognition._

_The Princess had two heavily armed guards with her. Jessalyn was carefully watching our reactions. Now I was certain, she knew who we were._

_She called the newbie first. With her jeweled knife she slit Red Bird's wrist and instructed to drink._

_He drank and I only wanted to kill him. To destroy him. Elena pull my hand. I briefly glanced at her. She wanted me to end this sick game. Stefan looked at me and with a barely there move he conveyed his message. Not yet, soon. It was better if one of us was beside Red Bird and near to the wicked Princess._

" _Princess, this gift is delectable. Powerful blood, untainted blood..."_

" _You had your fill. One of my guards will escort you out."_

_She then signaled Stefan to come. This time she cut Reb Bird's inner tight. A low growl escaped from me. A bewildered Elena acted as she offended me begging me for my pardon again and again. All of it was a ruse to distract the guards and the hopefully the Princess._

_I watched as Stefan leaned down and bit her. I reacted. After that everything was a blur. We acted without thinking. I pounced to Jessalyn. I surprised her and that gave me the advantage. I took off my mask. I wanted her to see who was her executioner. The sounds of the fight became a mere murmur. I directed all my senses to Jessalyn._

" _I knew you would come. A fool in love does foolish things. I had that lesson a few months ago."_

_I briefly glanced towards Red Bird and saw Elena fighting with the chains to free her. Kitten's eyes were full of dread and pain. Anger a lot of anger was running through my veins. I stare Jessalyn and in a sweet voice I let her know the truth._

" _I don't do regrets."_

_She knew it was her end._

_I tore her head apart. Stefan killed the one of the guards. The other guard gave me a strong blow to my ribs. Probably he broke some of them. I threw Jessalyn's head to him. The distraction was enough. The next second I had his heart in my hands. I helped Elena with the chains. I pick up Red Birds in my arms and we went out. I lead them through the dungeons, the back door._

_We had little time. All the guests, slaves and the rest of the guards witnesses our fight and they knew who killed their princess. When we finally left the palace a gigantic dog attacked me. Elena's screamed her warning. I moved to protect Red Birds from the dog. The creäture landed on me._

" _No... Zander!"_

" _What?"_

_Stefan directed a blow to the monster. Elena ran towards Red Bird and I stood up._

" _I hate mutts, but she loves you stop this nonsense."_

_For a second comprehension appeared in his eyes, but it disappeared as soon as it came. He ran in attack mode and I prepare myself for it. We stumble to the ground. Growls and hits, scuffing sounds. Kill him and survive were my only thoughts. Stefan help a little. Elena restrained my Little Bird._

_Finally the crack of bones and a last breath was heard._

Elena opened her eyes and smiled.

"Good morning. I thought that I dreamed you last night."

I kept watching her. Realization hit me. Stefan's was right, I love them both. I refuse to live another triangle from hell. I'll choose.

I caressed her golden hair studying her.

"Damon, what's wrong? Is it.."

"Don't ask. Don't break the peace."

She nodded. I embraced her and shut off the tiny voice in my head. I had already chosen.

"Damon.."

"I choose you, Princess. Always you."


	12. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 12**

_"God knows I didn't mean to fall in love with her" **― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms**_

_"I get it. Sometimes you want to remember. And sometimes you need to forget." **― Lisa Schroeder, The Day Before**_

_"To say goodbye is to die a little." **― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye**_

* * *

After a week of my decision and convincing Elena I was telling the truth, and finally muting out the tiny voice in my head, I could breathe some sort of peace. That Friday night I flew to my Red Bird's apartment. It was time to say goodbye.

She received me with a big smile and a hug. She looked lovely in her less than glamorous clothes. I'm doomed. Definitely doomed. Since when was easy to look her beautiful in whatever she was wearing? Damn It!

"You came! I miss you."

I hardened my heart and remembered my resolution. At least I tried to harden my heart towards her.

"This time I need you to forget me."

She looked confused. I expected it. I don't like explanations and my urge to finish, and be done with this was too strong.

"What? Why?"

Her eyes were intense and with such a clarity that I'd never seen before in her. She was sure about what she wanted and I needed to destroy that. Because I couldn't love her. I wasn't meant for her. I decided we weren't meant to be together.

She interpreted my silence, not too well.

"I'm such a burden for you? Do you hate me so much?"

Those terrible words mumbled out so low that very few creatures could have heard her. I did hear her and cursed my hearing ability. Because of my promise to her I only had hurt her, and I will continue hurting her. This time she couldn't comprehend as before. She couldn't remember the real her. The Red Bird who's fighting to get out.

The disturbing smell of salty water and her lowered eyes wretched what was left of my heart. I couldn't stop my movements. I grabbed her with a determination I rarely used before. Only two people had provoked me to this extent before. For good of for evil, Stefan and my Dark Princess were the only ones who had managed such a feat. Now My Little Bird was doing it. How could she? I had suppressed her gifts when I granted her wish. She doesn't know who she is.

"I.. I guess..."

"Don't."

"Let me Damon. You need me to forget. And you looked at me with pain. I think it is you who want me to forget. How could I do it? I can't! My heart is no longer mine to command. You did this to me. Why do you make me love you? Why?"

Her screams, tears and her futile punches on my chest did nothing to me. I slowly touched her face. I caressed her as she was the most delicate treasure on earth. So delicate that can wither, disappear away in seconds.

I still didn't say anything. What could I say? Which answers did I want to say? The right ones or the wrong and selfish ones. I never stopped touching her. I couldn't. This was the last time for us.

"I thought... How foolish of me? Let me go" Her struggle was to no avail for her freedom.

For the first time since we found each other on this fateful night I talked.

"No!"

So contradictory, but necessary. I kissed her with such a force that she winced in pain. She fought me like I expected of her. But what a delicacy. How addictive she was! For once I wanted her to remember everything. All what had happened between us; even our first meeting. I wanted to say goodbye to the complete version of my Kitten not this incomplete version of her. And just like that in a second for the second time since this farce had started I disregarded my word. I made her remember. Everything!

She gasped in pain. I saw how everything returned to its rightful place in her mind. I saw how her soul so pure and happy became tainted with pain and sadness. I saw how her instinct took over and forgive me. Startled I broke our connection. I broke our kiss.

"Why?"

She knew what I was asking.

"How could I not? Since that night at the library, you kept saving me over and over. How could I betray what my heart always desired and long for it? I don't know how I fell in love with you. I knew you were Elena's and I couldn't aspire to anything. I love her so much and I love you so much..."

"But?"

She leaned on my chest. Her tears never stopped to appear smearing her beautiful face. I waited for her to talk.

"I did suffer and kept silence, not only because of you Damon. I did have too much to protect not only you; my friends, my family, everyone. Then when the days became a blur in my mind, I had too much to forget. A lot of pain, doubts and questions. When finally my Dark Knight appeared in front of me, I had too much to forgive. Not because of what you are, who do you love or who do you kill. I have to forgive myself because my heart asked and coveted what could not be mine. And because I played with what I knew so well about you. I knew you would save me and if I asked for your help to erase everything I knew you would do it."

She played me in a very skillful way. When did my kitten become such a vixen? Then again, I had seen her heart and soul.

"You wanted to be selfish just one time."

"Yes"

Anger sipped through my body. So much anger...

I'll show her what was selfish. I let my monster get out and bit her. I was angry and yet I knew this was what we needed. This was what we craved. That night we became one in more ways than before. Our souls meshed, our minds connected and our bodies didn't have enough from each other. She was warm. I was cold. We reached our perfect equilibrium. Our pain mixed in such way where the lines became non-existent. We were one entity and as one we knew it was impossible to exist. We were not meant to be. I didn't believe it. She didn't believe it, but it has to end.

This was goodbye.

With the first rays of the coming day, bathing her fiery hair, she nodded and opened her mind to me. So much trust. I doubt I would find it again.

This time I erased her memories. This time I didn't just suppressed them. I cut them out and created the silly story of her accident and her amnesia. I'd only hope her powers would stay dormant, since she will no longer use them.

I ordered her to be happy. I told her she was loved and she would always be loved for eternity. I instructed her to seek out her picket fence. I buried in her mind the images of dreams she should have.

I ordered her to sleep because when the next time she'll open her eyes, she will not longer be my Red Bird.

She knew what I did and fought fiercely to keep her eyes open. Her tear streaked face was so hard to look at. I wanted to stop staring at her doe sad eyes, but I couldn't. This was the last time she would look at me knowing who I was.

"Damon."

I pressed my forehead to hers. I kept silent.

"I do love you. Because of you and only you."

"Sleep, Red Bird."

Her eyes started to close.

"Red Bird!"

"Hmm"

She moved and I tuck her in. I stood up from her bed and watched how my influence started to work. But before it could erase her. The second before she would be gone, my heart cried and an unbearable pain appeared.

I lean down again.

"I love you!" I murmur.

She was gone.

After that I close off my emotions related to her. I turned around and never looked back. I walked out of her room and found my brother waiting in her tiny dining room. He had heard everything that much I knew.

"Don't! Do as you promised and I will do my part. I'll forget her and love my Princess as she deserve."

"Damon."

I sent a blast to him.

"I said don't!"

I transformed and flew away through the window towards my chosen path. I sought out Elena. Now I have Elena and I almost lost her because of my foolishness. When on earth I let humans emotions to control me to such extent that I forgot my goals? How a powerful vampire had let a tiny human girl enter within him in such a way that it hurt as if his skin was slashed open again and again. Slash over slash... forever. Non-stop...

I heard my brother before I was too far away.

"We are brothers. Exactly two fools. Yes.. Two fools."


	13. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 13**

_"Sometimes, the only soul that can mend a broken heart is the one that broke it. For they are the ones holding all the pieces."_  
―  **Patti Roberts, _The Angels Are Here_**

 _"Did you want to see me broken?_  
Bowed head and lowered eyes?  
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.  
Weakened by my soulful cries."  **― Maya Angelou**

 _"But hurry, let's entwine ourselves as one, our mouth broken, our soul bitten by love, so time discovers us safely destroyed."_  
―  **Federico García Lorca**

* * *

It was a beautiful day twelve months after Damon returned to her. He changed and never spoke about their difficult period. It was like they silently agreed to never talk about Bonnie again.

This is a day she had never expected to live. She was fine with her decision. She wouldn't have her white picket fence and her children running and playing in her backyard. A dream any girl at some time in her life had dream about it.

She has chosen a never-ending love. This day she would become a Salvatore. Every time she thought about it a strange feeling appears. Meredith kept telling her that was wedding jitters. But like any other traumatic situation she had lived before she knew it was something different. She knew it wasn't wedding jitters. This feeling always meant something and usually it was something awful will happen. Either to her, family or friends.

No one understands it. The only one who voiced her fears before was Bonnie. And now she was gone. Now she couldn't confirm her gut feeling. She had live through too much to just believe it was only nerves.

"You look beautiful"

Stefan's voice wake her up. She blushed a little. She never blushes. That was Bonnie's thing.

"Thank you!"

Now she paid attention to her image. The mirror showed a beautiful bride. Her blond hair looked soft. The delicate make-up made her look almost angelic. The white dress. Not fully white, more like a bone-white dress with lace make her look like a delicate doll.

She had dreams about this. She gladly accepted the proposal; she was so happy and yet today. The most important day her eyes didn't show happiness. She looked sad and worried.

Stefan walked up to her and admired the bride standing in front of the mirror. Sometimes destiny has a cruel way to play with every living and non-living creäture. Since the first time he laid her eyes on Elena he knew she was for him.

The bride in front of him should be his. But the reality was so different. Elena's parents were gone and the oldest creäture of their tiny group available to walk her down the makeshift aisle was him. The other one, his brother would be the one waiting for her down the aisle.

Damon surprised everybody by asking her to be his "officially". He knew Damon loved Elena, but he was so certain Damon's heart was divided in two.

This day he wanted to be happy for him and yet he couldn't stop thinking; Why he urged Damon to do the right thing? Damon never listened to him. Why has Damon agreed to let Bonnie alone?

He had heard their goodbye and it was painful. Too painful and his brother almost shut off all of his emotions. They never crossed words again. They left Bonnie alone. But he couldn't stop wondering about the what if. And he was sure Elena was thinking something similar. She didn't have the details and she never had the opportunity to see her friend again. But women had intuition and Elena was unusually intuitive.

His guess about what she was thinking this moment was easy. She didn't look like a happy bride. The glow humans showed was gone.

"Stefan?"

"They are waiting for you."

"I..." She let out a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"I have this feeling. I... I wish Bonnie was here. She always confirmed or deny this... this..."

"Elena this is not you. You are the girl with plan A, B, C. When you chose something you go for it."

"I know. I can't stop my mind. Stefan. And don't tell me that it's nerves. It is not!"

He placed his hands on her shoulders and make her to turn around. Now they were facing each other.

He nodded and embraced her. For him was a let go. It was his way to say goodbye. She didn't know, but he decided to let them be. They will be happy and he would become the third wheel. Since he hates third wheels. He will disappear from their lives after this day.

"I have this horrible feeling that I'm not going to be Damon's wife. Not now, not ever."

"Elena. Do you love my brother?"

"Yes."

It was a firm answer. Not wavering and her heart kept beating at a steady pace.

"Then why so many doubts?"

"I don't know."

**x.x.x.x.x**

The humans had changed the Boarding House. There were flowers everywhere. It looked fitting for his Princess but it was overwhelming. Too much scents mixed up in such a tiny place.

He walked out of the house and stood there watching the trees. He was sure this was the right thing to do. He loved Elena. It was simple as that and yet. He haven't discover how to banish certain Little Bird from his mind. Not without shutting off all of his emotions and become a monster every human believe he was.

He said goodbye to her. He instructed her to be happy. He commanded her to forget everyone. She was no longer Bonnie McCullough. She was Bonnie Smith a normal student. He had to believe she was doing that. He has to follow his chosen path and not to look back.

Elena understands the duality of loving two creatures at the same time. Now he understands her better than anyone. No one will know how much he understands her.

The soft music had started. He walked back to the crowded house. Mrs. Flowers will do the honor of the binding ceremony. He didn't particularly liked this kind of things, but his Princess deserved it.

He stood beside the old woman and watched the ethereal vision of Elena beside his brother walking towards him. For a second he thought it was a perfect picture. He shrugged out those thoughts.

He was about to take her hand when a screaming so loud reached him. It was a psychic scream. It was unique and impossible. He did his job well. He left her mind free of any supernatural connection.

He looked at his weak brother. Surprise was what Stefan's face showed.

"It's impossible..." He muttered.

Elena kept looking back and forth between the brothers. Stefan abruptly stopped walking and Damon stiffened his posture. She looked at Mrs. Flowers. The Old witch gave her a knowing and sorrowful look. Instantly she understood. Her wedding will no longer be. She let Stefan go and walked the few paces between Damon and her. He was looking at her and his eyes were far away.

Something had happened and her intuition told her it was her friend and sister, Bonnie. Maybe this time Damon will stop being stubborn and will bring her back to them. She touched his arm and he flinched a little. Surprised of seeing her in front of him.

"Go! And keep her safe. Bring her back to us, Damon. Please."

In a second he was gone. And strangely enough, she didn't need to cry. She was anxious because something dreadful will happen. Now she was certain about it.

**x.x.x.x.x.x**

Damon didn't think at all. He flew out like his life depended on it. He didn't analyze why his Princess let him go. How did she know it was his Red Bird who screamed?

He stopped on the hospital grounds and transformed into his human form. He found a human and made him invite him in.

He let his powers lose and scanned where was his Little Bird and went to her.

She was on a hospital bed with a lot of obnoxious machines connected to her. She was pale and her heartbeat was weak. Her breathing was too shallow. What has happened to her?

He let her well and full of life. A nurse came in and before she said anything he grabbed her and influenced her. He didn't need the medical terms of what she had. He wanted to know what happened. And the nurse was a good source of information.

His Red Bird had been sick. Extremely sick almost a month after he left her. The hospital had treated her with no success. Recently they were only treating her to control her pain.

Her blood was poisoned. Her blood was attacking her. She was dying. How did she call him? With what strength?

It was ironic his Red Bird was sick because of her blood. The cancer was aggressive. That much the nurse told him. He didn't have time to dwell on what if. Her ordered the nurse to go.

With his power he sealed her room. No one could enter.

He took of all the machines from her weak body. Without thinking he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. He opened his walls a little and took some of her pain. Her eyes fluttered and with time she focused her tired sight on him.

Slowly her trembling hand moved toward him. He leaned down making her effort easier. She softly touched his face.

"You're here."

She whispered so low that only a vampire could hear her. He didn't say anything. She kept touching him. Caressing his face like he was the most precious and delicate thing to her. How did she know him?

"My Knight came... the one of my dreams."

He leaned some more and kissed her again. Now she did notice what he did.

"Thanks. Now I can go."

He placed his hands under her knees and shoulders, picking her up.

"You're not going anywhere." His words came out as a growl.

"It's cold. And the light is so warm."

"NO! I said you're not going anywhere. Don't you dare Red Bird!"

He took over her breathing. He made her breathe. He will use all of his life source if necessary. Damon cloaked them. No one could see them of feel them. The Old witch will help her. She must.

**x.x.x.x.x.x**

Elena no longer had her bouquet and veil. She didn't change her dress. She was too nervous to think about that.

Soon a roaring Damon arrived, yelling for Mrs. Flowers help. She ran out of her room towards Damon's. He watched in awed at him. How gently, he placed on his bed the bundle he had in his arms. He looked strained. Like he was making a huge effort. She took some paces and paid attention to the bed. She couldn't control her gasp. Damon glared at her. He actually glared at her.

"Bonnie!"

She screamed. By that time everybody was in Damon's room. Damon shifted his glare to Stefan. She noticed the slight movement of Stefan's nod. He knew what was happening. She carefully looked at her friend again. She grasped Bonnie's paleness and her shallow breathing.

"No! It can't be."

She couldn't stop. She grabbed Damon's arm and pull him. With no effect whatsoever on him, but she did it anyway.

"Tell me it's not true. No she can't be dying. She can't. Give her your blood. What are you waiting for?"

With every word she raised her voice more and more. She almost felt hysterical. She was not a hysterical person. She wouldn't allow it. She must do something.

Stefan touched her and looked at her. He was sad. He was trying to convey a message. And she wouldn't acknowledge it. It couldn't be. If Damon did not give his blood to Bonnie it only meant...  _NO!_

Her mind kept screaming. She was the girl with the plans she had to think something. She desperately looked at Mrs. Flowers. Another sad face. Meredith couldn't do anything, neither the brothers. Matt another human like her... Human... human...

And then inspiration hit her. The surprise she planned for her wedding will help. She ran to her room and desperately grabbed the golden cup. She breathed and count up to ten. The liquid was too precious to spill it. The cup didn't have the whole bottle, but she was certain every second was too important to lose. She has to be careful with every step she'd make.

Carefully, she walked to Damon's room and pleaded Stefan to help her.

"Damon please Bonnie needs to drink this. I know it will help her."

He didn't move. Damon kept watching Bonnie. He was keeping her alive. Elena turned around to Stefan.

"Give this to her."

Elena knew he would do it. She watched Stefan walk to the other side of the bed. For some seconds he stood there. She figure Stefan was telling his brother through his mental voice what he wanted to do. Again, Elena seemed to be the only one to notice the slight nod of the Salvatore brothers.

Stefan placed the cup on the night table and climb up on the bed. He took back the cup. Damon lifted Bonnie from the bed, and Stefan give her the water.

"Stefan, you have to make her drink."

For some reason she said that. Maybe to give some kind of clue to him. She wanted him to influence her sick friend to drink. It was a slow process, but finally they did it.

Elena was ordering what they needed to do by instinct. She couldn't let any doubts to creep in.

"Damon, you have to let her go."

A growl escaped from his lips. He didn't want to do it. Elena felt it was the right thing to do. It was something similar if they were using vampire blood.

"Damon please." She pleaded and reluctantly Damon did as she requested.

They all watched in horror their missing friend. The third part of the sisterhood disappeared from the world. With tears in their eyes they watched Bonnie's last breath.

The scream reached every part of the house and beyond. The animals of the surrounding woods ran to hide scared. With the dawn of the day the powerful predator flew away.

Elena watched him go. Turning to Stefan she saw in slow motion his arms, inviting her to him. She ran toward him and desperately cried her heart out.

"I though it would work. I though..."

"Elena, what was the liquid in the cup? It smelled like water."

Between sobs.

"It was water, Stefan. Water from the fountain of youth."

Elena didn't know how long she stood there within Stefan's arms crying. She realized some other truth. Damon loved Bonnie. And he just lost her.


	14. Forever - The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Chapter 14**

_"I'll love you until the day after forever." ― **Kami Garcia, Beautiful Chaos**_

_"A lot of people like the idea of eternal love and eternal romance._

_The notion of love that is more profound and deeper because it is eternal is very powerful." - **James Patterson**_

_"It isn't possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you._

_I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal." ― **E.M. Forster, A Room with a View**_

* * *

Fifty years later and the nauseating sweetness between his brother and Elena didn't stop bothering him. He no longer recalls why in hell he kept contacting them. Well that's not the truth...

Damon knew why, but he would never admit it to anyone. He didn't do the feelings thing anymore. The last time his heart opened a little he came out scorched, burned to the ground. That was another part he would never in his eternal life will admit. He, Damon, one of the greatest predators was rendered defenseless in the game of love. Love for two frail creatures.

It was insane. Humans would only live at most seventy years. A short span of time and if anyone analyzed the years when humans are at their pick of strength and beauty the time was even shorter. His Princess was lucky to be living as an eternal creäture and kept her beauty.

And there it goes again thinking Elena as his. In a way she would always be his. They are not longer lovers or some strange version of a couple and she was still in his life nagging him, caring for him. Stefan was lucky. He won over Elena's heart again.

And he, Damon Salvatore, handed Elena on a silver plate to his brother.

He had enough of the painful tugs in his heart. He had enough of loving, fiercely and losing everything. He was sick and tire of how feeble feelings and emotions could be. He was a monster and he didn't care anymore.

He went off into a strange journey and lived as a vampire should live. Indulging in his desires and instincts. Living the mirage of freedom. Yes, it was a mere mirage because he the vampire who close up his heart and shut down his emotions never stopped to check out if his family was still alive.

His family. Now Elena was his family.

He finished his dinner. He let the beautiful thing live. Her heart was still beating. Damon made her stare at him and he commands her to forget him. To go back to her family and turn around her sh*t life. He rarely did this, but this girl reminded him of scary Meredith. She was the reason for his return to Fells Church fifty years after his damned wedding day.

Meredith the last human of their tiny group finally died. Her family held her funeral and he agreed to go with Elena and Stefan to say their goodbyes at night when they could go out without any trouble or risks. There were still some few old humans living in this forsaken town who remembered them, especially Elena.

Damon would never say out loud that in some bizarre way he would miss the hunter. Their last connection to his humans. The last one and finally, at long last he was free.

Damon watched the girl walk away. He turned around and walk into the woods. He never accepted Elena's invitation to stay with them. He scoffed a little at that premise. He could die of an unnecessary exposure to their sweet love.

He no longer had the patience to live through that, again. He walked slowly, savoring the night and the silence his presence always provoked. The animals knew who was the bigger predator. He relished this time. He was the master and he controlled everything. Any living thing who disrupts his domain will die painfully.

Oh! How he loves to be him.

Eventually he reached his destination. In the thickest part of the wood he owned and old cabin hidden by the surrounding woods. Only Stefan knew about the existence of this place. Is where from time to time either Stefan or himself who stayed put licking their wounds. Sometime figuratively and other times literally.

He never mind his brother using it. It was his way of retribution for everything that had happened between them. They had fought and hated each other for too long, but deep down even at their darkest times they never fulfilled their threats against each other. Maybe in a convoluted way they knew at the end of time they will only have each other. Besides, they already killed each other as humans. Why bother to do that again? Elena was an added bonus for their tiny family.

Something was wrong. It felt different. He couldn't pinpoint what bothered him. He let out his power and didn't feel any supernatural near him. He felt a weak presence inside the cabin. Like it had been used. But, by whom?

Anger was the only thing he felt. It crept slowly filling every part of him. Who had perturb his property? The fool will die. No one has survived after defying his command. The creatures of the woods knew it. Only two people were allowed to use his log cabin; the Princes and Stefan. His annoying little brother.

He stormed into the cabin thinking of nothing. He was just acting. His instinct took up everything. Damon started to relish the impending hunt. As always anticipation ignited his hunger. His fangs protruded and his face showed his true self.

Finally after too much sickening sweetness. He was free to kill and he will enjoy it.

The first room that worked as living room and a makeshift kitchen where empty. He couldn't see any recent disturbance. No traces of footprints or mark of hands were nonexistent and yet the smell was stronger.

Someone used this place. He turned to the rest of the small abode. An empty bathroom was next. It was in the same state as the previous room. Next the only bedroom. The scent was stronger. He stood there like a Roman statue. Not moving. His mind was crazy with possibilities. As soon they appear, he discarded them.

"It can't be"

Words he pronounced to one. The small echo resonating within him.

"It's her scent."

His rational part was fighting with the predator. He knew it was impossible. He never brought her here. He sent is power out searching. Maybe it was a trap. Someone was playing a cruel trick against him. Someone will pay for this and he will make sure they will suffer greatly.

The seconds passed. He let his vampire self took over and tear down the door.

Time stood still. Even the particles of dust seemed to freeze, not moving, standing still. His eyes registered what was in front of him, but his brain didn't want to accept it. His fangs receded and he forced his body to move.

He reinforced the walls around his heart and mind.

First step, second step, third step...

Now he was beside his bed. His hands wanted to touch it, but his mind still refusing the sight in front of him.

"You died, I saw you. Fifty years ago. Damn it! You died!"

Damon breathes in and her scent came in full force. It was her. It has to be her. But the room was silent no heartbeat.

His hand moved on his own accord. Soon his mind caught up with his brain commands. He touched her cheek gently. Like she was the most expensive crystal. She could break. She could disappear.

"It can't..."

Her skin was warm and yet the heartbeat wasn't there. He then tore his eyes from her face and he studies her carefully. No shoes, long luscious black dress with delicate silver touches.

"It was... what was the name the women called it.."

Damon lost himself in this reality and talk like he had an audience.

"Oh yes... strapless..."

She was wearing his gift. The necklace he sent her for one of her birthdays. Someone braided her hair and adorned it with the diamonds of that fateful night. The night they rescued her from Jessalyn. Her white skin looked so soft. Her face was so relaxed like she was sleeping. Her fiery hair was brighter than ever. No signs of her sickness remained. She was perfect.

He let out a lonely chuckle.

"You're the only one who would resemble a fairy tale..."

But this was not a movie, this was his reality. No fairy tales existed in fact, they are more like the Grimm's tales. No happy ending, a hidden message behind the cruelest punishment.

Then he let the nagging questions free. Why her body felt warm? Who put her here? Why her body didn't succumb to nature process? By now her remains are supposed to be part of the earth.

She died in front of him...

Then the volcano inside him erupted. The growl, scream that came out his mouth scared the animals of the forest. He trashed the room. He destroyed everything and when he was about to destroy the bed he stood still.

His mind was blank. He wanted to be blank because he needed to destroy the mirage in front of him. This was not real and he will destroy the illusion. He pounced over her.

Damon grabbed her with all his force. He didn't think. He acted...

Without thinking he let his vampire instinct took over. He bit her neck with all his strength. He wanted to rip her apart because she was not real.

To his surprise blood surge out of the wound and he drank. He drank before he could analyze the impossibility of it. A dead body didn't have fresh blood in its veins. He drank and drank and lost the sense of what was real. He was gone...

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

The little boy was sad. The monster has return and he shackled him again. The chains were stronger than before. He wanted to help him, but Damon kept screaming at him to stay quiet.

For so long he wanted to plea to the scary Damon to let him free. The golden angel granted his freedom and then disaster struck.

The walls were erected and the chains reappear. His surrounding where darker than ever. And he felt so scared and lost. The little boy was mad at the scary Damon. The boy could remember what was freedom and this monster keeps him trapped here.

With time he learned to be silent. The boy hid very well from the monster Damon the hope he had. The boy wanted to believe he will be free again.

And then one day everything crumbled around him. It was like an earthquake and in between of all the movement, the raging screams and the fight he heard a tiny cry.

The boy fought the chains. He was lucky with everything crumbling the scary Damon forgot to keep the chains strong. With effort he got free and with a hesitation the boy followed the cry.

Someone needed him. The path was dark and he stumbled so many times. The boy felt his knees and feet getting hurt, but he kept walking. It was an impulse, he needed to get there. He must get there.

"Please don't cry. I'm here. I'll help you.", he screamed to the darkness.

The little one didn't have a clear idea of time. That concept was managed by Damon, the monster. He only wished with all his might to find it. And like it was a magic trick he did found it.

The boy felt when he crossed to another place. He was no longer inside the monster's mind. He was elsewhere, he wasn't sure where. But it was full of light. It bothered him a little because it was difficult to see. He waited until his eyes become accustomed to his new surroundings. After some moments he found what he was looking for. He stood there watching the little girl cry.

He walked towards her. She looked at him with the cutest doe eyes, he had ever seen. She recognized him and he recognized her at the same instant.

"Red Bird, it's you."

"Damon, you found me."

The Little Damon hugs her. His Red Bird hugs him back.

"Please don't go." Her pleading reached him.

"Never"

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

The gasp stopped him. He stops drinking. Damon lets her neck go. The impossible happened. Red Bird looked at him.

"How?"

Tears appeared in her eyes and he lost it. He embraced her with all his might. It didn't matter this was a cruel mirage. He didn't care anymore. He took her face between her hands.

"I found you."

The strange sensation that similar words were spoken seconds ago came out of nowhere. He shrugged it off. He leaned down and kissed her. Her warm lips told him he was living the real thing. It was no longer a mirage. Some strange miracle had occurred and for the first time in his long un-dead life he said thanks. He was certain someone had heard it.

He didn't notice when he felt asleep.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Damon woke up. He felt as he drank a whole bar. Where was he? Slowly he registered the room. He saw the destruction. He remembered destroying it and...

He turned and saw the empty space beside him. It couldn't be. She was real. He touched her, kissed her, embraced her. He was not crazy Red Bird was here.

At vampire speed he ran out the cabin. The moon was illuminating. It was night. How long was he out? He stood outside searching her with his powers. He searched what he knew was Red Bird, but he felt something entirely different. He ran towards it.

There, in the middle of the a little clearing, he found his Red Bird. He blinked several times. The power he felt was her. She exuded eternal life. That reminded him of Elena after she drank... Comprehension hit him.

"It worked."

She turned around.

"How is this possible? I died and let you go and yet, I'm here."

"You should thank Elena for that."

"What?"

Then it hit him all the pain he hid, all the anger, all those years.

"Why?"

Confusion appeared on her features. That angered him. He ran towards her and grabbed her neck.

"Why?"

"I don't... understand. I..."

He debated if this still real. If he kills her he would be really free. He would be his old self. The uncaring vampire. No more humans to save.

Then a single tear came out of her eyes. He watched the path of the tear. He finally could hear her heart. It was beating faster than ever.

"Why do you hate me?"

That stunned him. What was she talking about?"

"Do you hate me because I died? Or because I'm not Elena? Do you hate me because you have to save me again and again?"

How on earth she could think he could hate her. He was angry at her. No that was a lie. He was angry at him because he didn't believe.

"Do you hate me because I forgive you? Why? Why?"

By now her voice was a mere murmur. He let her go. Damon knew what was about to say could change everything. He looked at her carefully drinking in her beautiful sight. He was a fool. Indeed he was; he always had his future in front of him and he never accepted the truth or the possibility of it.

"Red Bird..."

He touched her face delicately. He started to get rid of the damned diamonds. They are not for her. No, those diamonds were the symbol of her suffering; of her time as a slave. He will give her other precious stones, but not diamonds.

She didn't say anything. Red Bird let him do whatever he wanted. In a way it has always been like this. Now her hair was free and the gentle breeze played with it. It was a coordinated dance between her delicate dress and her red soft curls.

"Red Bird, you're right. I do hate you."

She opened her eyes. It was a mere second of confusion. She didn't believe she was right.

"Yes, I hate you because you crawled into my heart. Because you didn't let me fulfill my ultimate goal, Elena. I hate you because you surprised me. Because I died for you. I hate you because I promise you something it only brought heartache. Because I saved you. I hate you because I can't live without you. Because I met you and..."

He then surrounded her waist with his right arm. His left hand caressed her face cleaning up her tears.

"I hate you..."

He started a silent dance with her. Only the night and the pale moon were witnessing the moment. He let out a sight of surrender. A inconsequential memory came up. His brother a long time ago told him he was a fool. How right was Stefan.

"I hate you... because you're my home."

"I.. I.." He silenced her with a gentle cast kiss.

"Red Bird, can you forgive me?... Again..."

He knew he had hurt her even upon her own request. She had live things a girl shouldn't have live. His selfishness blinded him. He was the jerk who damned everything. Damon leaned into her. There foreheads were touching. The breeze played with Red Bird's black dress. He felt her hair touching him. A mellow caress.

"Bonnie, I hate you because I love you."

The last words came as a whisper. They were intended only to her. He moved a little. He wanted to see her face.

She gifted him with one of her wonderful smiles. She put her arms around his neck and caressed his hair.

"I have already forgiven you. Since the first day we met and..."

He looked at her. Unknowingly he was holding his breathe. He didn't need it, but it was a source for him to keep up her powers.

"Breathe, Damon... Breathe."

He let out and took a refreshing breathe. She move in a little. Now she was standing like a ballerina. His Red Bird kissed him, gently. Then silence, she haven't say anything. Another smile and a different spark in her eyes.

"Well, then... I hate you too."

For the first time he was the one smiling. He felt connected and complete. Regarding his Red Bird, no more walls.

Yes, definitely this was not a mirage anymore.

**~~ Fine~~**


	15. Extra I: Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement intended. Yes, that includes the song, L.J. Smith and Alloy entertainment characters too.
> 
> A/N/Warning: This story has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is completely Author's Universe, so this story not necessarily follow the book's story line. Since I'm not L.J. Smith the characters are totally OOC. I did try, though. So please bear with me a little.
> 
> I forgot. I post it without a beta check. Sorry for the mistakes and horrors.

**Mirages of Love - Extra I**

_"Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." - **Peter Pan**_

_"_ _Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end but in my heart's a memory and there you'll always be."_

**- _The Fox and the Hound - Richard Rich and Jeffrey C. Patch_**

* * *

If we live enough and keep a sad way of seeing life we could say life is tragically short. But most forget to remember with death comes life, with life comes death.

Is the natural way of nature to balance the ins and outs. The circle needs to keep moving, needs to keep evolving and I'm not part of it. Even if I want to be, I can't.

Today is a sad day. Once again I have to say the last goodbye to a friend. A friend I neglected to know better. To discover her intricacies.

Her departure had broken us. My brother disappeared on us. Even I don't know where he is. The last standing living sisters are heartbroken. The always dependable Matt is silent. No reaction at all it looks like he still in shock.

At least her family are not here. Since Bonnie was kidnapped and when we kept going without news we compelled them. They believed her daughter was gone. They had their mourning day. I believe they still mourning her. Now Bonnie had a tombstone where the lot was empty. No body, only space.

Mrs. Flower insisted to use Honoria Fells' Tomb for Bonnie's real last resting plane. She was adamant and unyielding about it. No one objected, neither did I even though I kept thinking why.

I let Mrs. Flower, Elena and Meredith prepare Bonnie's body. I compelled my way to get the casket. For some unexplained reason I went directly to the Tomb and placed the empty casket on top of Honoria Fell's. I couldn't bring myself to carry the casket with her in it. I figure out I would be the one carrying her since my brother still is a no-show.

This made me angry and yet I understand him perfectly. I lived his pain with Elena... twice. He lived it too. And we as a vampires we see it and felt this horrible hopelessness, powerless sensation again and again. That's one of the costs of immortality. We can't do nothing against real death. Even vampires can have a last and definite death. It is possible it's a matter of how avoidable we can make it be.

Our answer, at least once it was my choice too, is to close off. Say our goodbyes and move on to the next human we befriend, to meet and old vampire acquaintance and keep living, surviving, roaming around the world.

Depressing... yes that what it is. Without a reason to keep fighting it could turn dark in a moment.

**x.x.x.x.x.x**

I never imagine a day like this. My wedding became a sad day. I lost my sister, one of my best friends. I failed her... we failed her. And only now is when I realized this. Too late.

We somehow survived the horrible day and now we are preparing her funeral. It's hard for me to see my friend, my sister like this.

In a reverent silence we prepare her. I tuned everything out. It is like I'm watching a sad movie. Where I know I will cry and feel my broken heart. How could this be? What had happened to us? Did we forget what was important?

Our oath. Our sisterhood. We became teenagers and soon our hearts started to dictate and govern our actions, especially me. How could I have forgotten the pain?

The pain to lose, to fail and regret. I had lost my real parents. The ones who raised me. The pain was great and then I felt like the world gone crazy and against me. I lost my life, twice and I didn't regret it. I never stopped to think the effect of my actions on my friends, my sisters.

I watch Meredith going through Bonnie's clothes. I know she is thinking what must be done. I know her. She is like me in a way. She must take action, we have to get things done. We need our counterbalance. Our fairy friend. And now she's gone.

I keep brushing Bonnie's hair mindlessly lost in long forgotten memories. Our hide and seek games. She always got caught because of her hair. Between the green and browns of the park or the near woods behind our houses the flash of red was easy to spot. A sad smile appear unwittingly on my face.

"You always got mad, but never stop playing."

A whisper said more for me than for her. She can't hear me. Kept brushing her and before I know I had braided her hair. It was like this always like this. When we had our slumber parties I always ended up braiding her hair. She never complained about it. Never.

"Here, I think this will look lovely on her."

I stare at Meredith's hand.

"Diamonds? Are those?"

"Yes, they are. Bonnie brought them when you rescued her. You threw them."

"Why?"

Meredith shrug.

"I thought this could help her. You know for college. She didn't... She didn't need to know about it."

She sat on the bed never lifting her eyes from Bonnie's face.

"I thought she would let us help her, but she just.. went away. Why did she do that? I figure her pain was too great. That for her was unbearable and didn't want us to be near her as a constant reminder."

I took Meredith's offering. I didn't have a clue when the diamonds became pins. I glanced toward Mrs. Flowers and she gave me a knowing look. This was her doing. She helped Meredith with this.

"You're not talking about us. You are talking about her broken heart."

"Elena, I..."

It was strange to see Meredith speechless and in pain. I starting placing the diamond pins on Bonnie's hair.

"She looks like a Princess."

We stood up. Meredith brought the pale blue dress.

"Blue?"

She says nothing. She just went and dressed Bonnie with it. We finished and contemplate our work.

"Yes, Elena. She looks like a Princess, but what kind of Princess?"

**x.x.x.x.x.x**

Like everyone else he kept working on the table and the flowers. He needed to do something to keep his mind busy. The pain was strong enough and sometimes he would stand looking at nothing. Just lost in the why?

He knew their lives changed as soon Elena saw Stefan. He knew danger was constantly surrounding them. Elena died twice they all live that experience and yet he kept the tiny hope there always be a way to bring the missing person back. What the heck, Elena came back, Damon came back.

They were friends, a tight unit and when someone was missing... they didn't work correctly. Death is part of life he knew it but his heart was screaming why she couldn't be brought back. Bonnie deserved to live.

So, he kept arranging flowers just following his instinct. He felt like someone was directing him in how to do it.

He saw Mrs. Flowers giving an approval to his work. He glanced at the beautiful setting one that Bonnie would love. That made him remember a conversation buried deep in his memories. After one of those summers when Bonnie returned from Scotland.

One lazy afternoon they found each other at the park. She took her dog out for a walk and he was out trying to get a breather from his mom.

"Hi, Matt" Her cheerful voice.

They stayed together and even eat some ice cream. Sat under a tree and played with the dog. For some strange reason their conversation turn into deep themes. Maybe it was because both missed Elena. She haven't returned from Paris.

They talked about the funeral and something moved him to ask her. What kind of funeral did she see for her? She looked at him perplexed. It was for a mere moment and then her face turn serious. She looked away into the scenery in front of them. Other people living their peaceful afternoon, the soft breeze and the nature surrounding them.

"I... I have seen it."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I see my face young. Me hair tamed, my dress is a pale blue. I can see me in some sort of table. I don't know what it is, but it is not a casket. Not yet at least. Flowers are everywhere."

"But, you're allergic."

She let out a soft chuckle.

"That is why is perfect. I won't be allergic anymore. And the flowers are pretty, delicate gifts that I can't have the pleasure to have. "

"ok"

By know my voice reflected hesitation. She was too serious and I started to worry.

"Yes, it is OK. I see my closest friends. Very few people. I'll die young Matt. That I know. There will be soft music, not for me. But for all of you, so your souls can soothe a little. And everything will be held and sunset. Not at sunrise because the beginning of the day means life. The end of the day fits better. And then when the evening star starts to shine only one person will say his last good-bye. After that is a matter of time."

"For what?"

"I guess,...to Forget"

"To Forget what?, Bonnie."

By know I was really scared. She sometimes rambles and says things to eerily for my taste. The scariest of all this is that she usually is right about it. She glanced at me and then to her dog. She softly caresses it.

"Bonnie, come on?"

"Me... Matt. To forget me."

It is a strange they never talked about with such details again. She kept saying she would die young and they kept telling her to stop joking about it.

She was right. All this time she was right even to the smallest detail.

**x.x.x.x.x.x**

We gather around her. The sun started his melancholy never-ending path to end the day. The common sounds of the near woods are non-existent. It is like Nature is another person attending her funeral.

It is a solemn evening. Sad of course it's sad. It's not everyday I have to say goodbye to someone I love.

One by one we say our goodbyes and remember her. Her quirks and annoying traits. Her never-ending love for us. Her endless forgiveness for us all. Her moods, her innocence, her faithfulness,... just her.

Mrs. Flowers put some soft music. It has a subtle healing and soothing effect. Then Mrs. Flowers in a voice not natural to her. I guess some spirit was within her sing the tune.

"Come spirits across the ocean  
join with your sister who waits here  
Take her across to the bright land  
Take her across moor and meadow  
Take her across a calm sea  
Take her across a blissful ocean  
Peace and joy on the day of her death  
As she finds her way to the white sun"

I search the song. I wanted to be special and to honor Bonnie's heritage. I do understand is related to some druid ritual. We don't have the ocean near, but we do have a river. At least the element of water is present. It's perfect.

We gather the flowers. Then Stefan picks her up. Now we starts our walk to the old cemetery. We don't say anything. We keep the solemn moment. I feel my tears coming down. I can't stop them. I don't want to stop them.

Elena walks besides me. She's crying too. Matt's behind us. I can't see him, but I guess he is trying his hardest to not crumble.

I glance to the sky once we are out of the woods. I can see the evening star.

We enter Honoria Fells' tomb and I watch Stefan placing gently Bonnie's body in the casket. This is it. This is the final time I would see her. I follow Elena and place the flowers around. I watch her one last time and I feel my heart breaks even more.

"I'll miss you Bonnie. You don't have an idea how much I'll miss you."

I turn around and get out. I don't wait for the rest.

"Meredith"

I hear Elena's voice calling, but I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I need to crumble down and I'll do it like always do. In my room alone.

**x.x.x.x.x.x**

"Go Elena, I'll..."

"You have to feed."

"Yes."

I see her turn around and call Meredith. Matt's is escorting Mrs. Flower back to the Boarding House.

I said yes to Elena, but it wasn't the truth. I have a tiny hope and I want to set everything so it could happen.

I re-open the tomb. I move the heavy stone and walk away from it.

"Please brother don't be a fool, say goodbye."

If he is near I know he heard me.

I glance one last time and I see a black bird circling the tomb. I turn around and walk away.

The next morning I visit the tomb. My intention is to close the tomb again. A tiny smile appear.

The Tomb is already closed.


End file.
